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Life Update: Summer Special Needs/Inclusion Camp Proposal Idea

 This is a future endeavor for me once I graduate with my bachelors degree. For as long as I can remember, I have been passionate about special needs and disabilities, probably because It is what I know. At age 11, I started attending a Summer day-camp for special needs called Camp We Can Do. (I have previously mentioned my experiences at Camp we Can do- See older blog post titled: “Disability Journey: Camp We Can Do- My heaven on Earth!!” It was a great experience back in the day, but sadly it has become basically “a joke” and not what it once was. However, it has influenced me and was a huge part of what made me into what I am today. I decided to take the things I liked/loved about camp, the things I wanted to change, my ideas I’d often proposed to staff while as a camper, etc. and make it into my own. 

Here is my proposal: 

Intro:  Growing up, I was always self-conscious, even though I had friends in mainstream education, I still felt like an outsider and that my “normal,” friends couldn’t relate to me at times. I didn’t like sleeping away from home and I was overly self-conscious about what I wore or any risks of being mocked/bullied. The answer to my confidence issues was a Special Needs Camp in Lafayette, Louisiana. It was a day camp all summer, called Camp We Can Do.

Camp we Can Do, took children and young adults (ages 5-23) of all special needs. Every day they did some type of arts and crafts, cooking/baking in kitchen, some type of sports, morning exercises/stretches and a walk around the track, a group activity- whether it be playing out in the park area, we would go swimming on Fridays, and bowling on Tuesdays. There would be one “Big Field Trip” to places like NASA, Kemah Boardwalk, NOLA Aquarium/IMAX, etc. Sometimes we’d have small field trips like Candyland cottage sweetshop, the beach in lake Charles, Incredible Pizza/GattiTown when it was around, children’s museum, etc. They would also do at least one or two talent shows where kids could do karaoke, dancing, or whatever. We were encouraged to explore outside of our comfort zones. We were held accountable for our actions despite having disabilities/special needs.

Camp We Can Do was great back in the day, but now it isn’t what it used to be, but has inspired me and was a big part of who I am, that I want to build on the ideas from the Camp and expand into my Own.

I also collaborated with another former camper: Bailey Castille and will include her ideas as well.

               Bailey’s Ideas:

·        Camp all summer long (as soon as school lets out) and during school (after school and on weekends)

·        Frequent Field trips

·        Rotation sign ups (choices like electives)

·        Separate cooking and baking into two separate rotations

·        Life skills- Cooking, shopping, chores, laundry, etc.= independence skills

Joint Ideas:

·        Pet therapy

·        Music therapy

·        Writing therapy

·        Theatre therapy- dancing, acting, film

·        Art therapy- digital or nondigital

·        Crafting therapy

·        Gardening therapy

·        Camper group compatibility= personality questionnaires to avoid cliques and fights

·        Camper input= suggestion boxes, help with shirt design, theme, etc.

·        Girl activities (girl scouts, tea parties, dress up/fashion show, etc.) “girls’ day”/ Boy’s activities “boys’ day” = sports, boy scouts, etc.) —***Sign up/optional***

·        Reward/incentive program

·        Videos in the finale DVD slideshow

·        Snacks for children who forgot theirs

·        Camp Store= “Camp Bucks” for good behavior/reward incentive, can spend at Camp Store

·        Train older responsible campers to be future staff (Mentor Program) – Will hire future campers or let them volunteer****

·        DIY Craft Day- Choices

·        Weekly Newsletter/Mail for campers and family/ Calendar for month

Camp Field Trip Ideas:

·        Art, history, or science museums

·        Performing theatre shows

·        Avery Island

·        Sea World

·        Build-a-bear

·        Dave and Busters

·        Chuckie E. Cheese

·        Cicci’s pizza

·        Beaches

·        Aquariums

·        Campgrounds- (KOA, Cajun Campground, Poches, Cajun Palms, etc.)

·        Candyland Cottage

·        Children’s Museums

·        Libraries

·        USS KIDD

·        Blue Bayou/ Dixie Landin

·        Kart Ranch

·        NASA

·        KEMAH Boardwalk

·        EPIC Fun Center

·        Surge Entertainment Center

·        Jump Zone

·        Sky Zone

·        NOLA Aquarium/Zoo/Butterfly House/IMAX

o   =====Life Skill trip ideas:

o   Restaurants/bakeries/etc.- (Targils –Cooking classes? Deanos—Pizza cooking demo? Old tyme grocery—po’boy making demo? Etc.)

o   Grocery shopping

o   Shopping= malls, recreational

o   Laundromats

o   The Arc

o   IMPAC

o   UL Life Tour

o   UL/ LSU/ LSUE/ SLCC/etc. Campus tours

o   APARTMENT TOURS

o   GOODWILL

o   DREAMS Foundation

·        Horseback riding

·        Boating/fishing/crabbing

·        4wheeler/ATV riding

·        Pool

·        Bowling

·        Movie Theaters

·        ***Farther trips: St Louis, Mississippi, Arkansas, Disney World, etc.***

School Time Ideas:

·        Fall Bonfire

·        Fall Harvest Fair/carnival

·        Participate in community= parades, downtown markets, etc.

·        Dances (older than 10+) = Mock homecomings, Halloween, Christmas, Valentines, Mardi gras balls, (Mock debutant balls type things), Proms

·        Parties (any age) = Halloween, Christmas, new year’s, valentines, Mardi gras, easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, birthdays**

·        Movie day= campers vote on movie to watch either owned or go to theatre.

·        Skating Rink Night or Midnight Bowling

·        Dress up tea party/ Etiquette for girls’ women, or fashion show/makeover—***sign up—optional***

·        Sports Fitness Day or scouts or 4wheelers-mudridding or fishing or something- guys day—****sign up —optional***

·        Jean day $1

·        Bingo

·        Bible Study

·        Talent Shows

·        Art or cooking/baking or crafting day (can even be woodworking crafts) or gardening

Last Day of Camp/Fun Day ideas:

·        Balloon artist

·        Magician

·        Carnival/fair games

·        Face painting

·        Petting zoo

·        Fun jump

·        Water balloons/sprinklers

·        Ice cream/snow cones

·        BBQ

·        Bonfire with smores?

·        Talent show time

·        Party?

Other ideas:

·        Cool down area for meltdowns

·        Staff to be tested Emotionally and background checks- No drugs/alcohol, no violence charges, no sex crimes

·        Not a daycare- must be potty trained or have an aid/caregiver

·        Have talks involving themes of:

o   Equality

o   Kindness

o   Respect

o   Confidence

o   Self-esteem

o   Anti-bullying

o   Friendship

o   Etc.

·        Include “mainstreamed” (non-special needs) children/young adults?

·        Sleep away camp vs. Day camp? (Maybe make it optional)

·        Bonfires with smores if sleep away camp

What the Camp Offers:

·        Art

·        Crafting (including woodworking, working with recycled materials, etc.)

·        (possibly) Sewing= sewing, crocheting, embroidery, etc.

·        Photo/Film (how to handle cameras, etc.)

·        Cooking

·        Baking

·        Sports and fitness

·        Survival/Scouts

·        Bowling (weekly)

·        Swimming (weekly)

·        Horseback Riding?

·        Boating/Canoeing?

·        Fishing/Crabbing?

·        Creative writing= short stories, poetry, whatever.

·        Dance

·        Fashion (design, sewing, etc.)?

·        Gardening and horticulture

·        Religion/Theology/VBS/bible study

·        Morning exercises/stretches and walk track

·        Weekly talent shows

·        Learning life skills, confidence and how to love yourself, making friendships, etc. ***

Rules:

·        No profanity (goes for everyone- staff included)

·        Respect all property of the camp (“you destroy it, you pay for it.”)

·        Wear camp shirts on all outings, as well as name tags, and stay with your group/staff

·        Pay ahead of time for trips (will not accept “day of payments”)

·        Treat each other and staff with kindness and respect:

o   Be helpful

o   Be kind

o   Tell if you have a problem (do not handle it yourself)

o   No stealing

o   No fighting

o   No arguing/back talk/disrespect to the staff

o   Tell a staff before you just walk off

o   Follow all directions/instructions

o   Label all your belongings- if not labeled and gets lost or stolen, not responsible.

o   Only time electronics/phones/etc. are allowed: Morning before camp starts, after lunch (quiet time), and Snack time, and Nighttime before bed (if sleep away camp)

Skills/ Life skills taught and offered (whatever able and under supervision):

·        Grocery shopping/ Recreational shopping

·        Sweeping/dusting/vacuuming

·        Making beds

·        Library- getting library card, checking out books, etc.

·        Teach how to take public transportation

·        Social skills?

·        Outdoor work- cutting grass, spraying, weeding, etc.

·        Washing dishes/load dishwasher/putting dishes away

·        Loading laundry washer/dryer, folding, and saving clothes

·        Setting a table

·        Cooking/baking

·        Putting leftovers away in fridge/freezer

·        Reading/writing

·        Writing letters

·        Making routines (to do lists, etc.)

·        How to fundraise/marketing

·        Counting and managing money (budgeting, rolling coins, etc.)

Sayings/ Mottos:

·        Try before saying “I can’t” = “Yes I can!”

·        Life puts pressure, pressure makes you tough= Diamond tough!

·        You are only as limited as you see yourself= don’t put yourself in a box of limitations

·        Life has obstacles, but they can be overcome= just find a different path!

·        Everyone has a different path and journey- don’t try to be like everyone else= being you is Beautiful= Be You tiful!

·        You are a diamond, don’t let the world dim your sparkle and shine

·        You are a star, don’t dim your light

·        You must train hard to be victorious= it is hard, but well worth it!

·        Life is a journey

·        You are from Louisiana. You are proud Cajuns or LSU tigers. In Louisiana, we don’t back down from a challenge, we grab hold of that challenge, wrestle with it until we eventually conquer it!

Fundraising Ideas:

·        Dances/parties

·        Sell plate lunches

·        Garage/yard sales

·        Benefit days (Fundraisers)

·        Go Fund Me/PayPal/etc.

·        Bake sales/Lemonade sales

·        Sales by “campers” (Interact and sale their cooked/baked/created/ or grown items)

·        Community day- set up booths and talk about and ask for donations (have campers help)

Each Camper gets (with admission):

·        Cap/hat

·        Shirt

·        Rubber/jelly bracelet

·        Backpack

·        Tumblr

·        Nametag

·        $5 in “Camp Bucks”

Guest Speaker/Guest ideas:

·        First responders (Police, firemen, ambulance, etc.)

·        Dentists

·        Eric Williams “Guns down,” chess spokesperson

·        Out of state people: Ali McManus, Madelyn Hubbs, Katie Ladlie, Mia Williams, etc.

·        UL Life/ Disability office

·        Librarians to come read to them

·        Famous locals: Drew Brees, Dev. Henderson, Sean Payton, Coach O, Lauren Daigle, Hunter Hayes, John Morgan (Ragin Cajun comedian), etc.

·        Local artists and musicians- Jaxon Meche (music), Eric Gautreaux, Lindy and Matt/One trick pony (Music), Whitney Marks (art), Emily Ortego (Music)

·        Roni Dubroc – about the Baton Rouge thing?

·        Local cooks/bakers/etc. to offer class

·        Girls’ and boys’ clubs?

·        Scouts of America?

Camp Name Ideas:

·        Camp Able

·        Camp Ability

·        Camp Potential

·        Camp Expectation

·        Camp Destination Expectation

·        Camp Equality

·        Camp Inspirations

·        Camp Victory/Victorious

·        Camp Glorious Journey

·        Camp Cajun Crew

·        Camp Conquer!

·        Camp United Hearts

·        Camp Pure Unity

·        Camp Utopia

People to Talk to for input, etc.:

·        Dreams foundation

·        IMPAC

·        Beacon Club (ULL)

·        UL Life program and office of disabilities

·        Dr. Beasley (UL)

·        Lion’s camp

·        ARC

·        Autism Societies

·        Families helping Families

·        LRS?

·        Bambi Polotzola

·        Laci Polotzola

·        Robyn Blackwell

·        State office of disabilities

·        Derrick McBride- One-piece Missing Foundation (Autism)

·        Boys and Girls Clubs

·        United Way

·        Church Camps

·        Dr. Donna wadsworth

Things need to do:

·        Present proposal

·        Community day- go out in community to present my proposal idea, give info about why this would be a great thing, etc. maybe have some special needs kids help…?

·        Find sponsors

·        Find a location

·        Get funding

·        Look at liability insurance, health care, health department assistance (red cross)

·        Look at buses and transportations services

·        Vocational ed. department or vocational tech schools support or assistance Rural health and rural education programs and grants**

·        Figure out budget and admission cost

·        Figure out if going to provide lunch or go to a school (like camp did)

·        Find and hire staff (including health care- nurses, lifeguards, etc.)

·        Figure out lesson plans for weeks/ activities

Things Needed:

·        Game tables (foosball, air hockey, pinball)

·        Art and craft supplies (Crayons, Markers, Paints, Construction Paper, Cardstocks, glitter/glitter glues, hot glue/hot glue sticks, cricut materials, paint brushes, scissors (kid safety scissors and regular scissors), chalk, pom poms, pipe cleaners, color pencils, pencils, pens, paper, jewelry beading and thread, friendship bracelet thread, duct tape/washi tapes, etc.

·        Games (Board Games), sports equipment (balls, bats, gloves, racquets, etc.), jump ropes, bubbles, water balloons, sprinklers, squirt guns, puzzles, etc.

·        Pool toys, goggles, sunscreens, pool noodles, inflations, kickboards, floaties, etc.

·        Snacks (drinks, chips, snack cakes, sandwich fixings, burger/hot dog fixings, brownie mix, cake mixes, jellos, puddings, etc. kitchen stuff, popcorn, stuff for smores, BBQ, ice cream sundae fixings, stuff for homemade ice creams, stuff for homemade snow cones/slushies/popsicles, stuff for popcorn machine (kernels, salt, butter, oil, etc.), etc.)

·        Books to put in our “corner library”

·        Movies/DVDs for “Movie library”

·        Fireworks (especially sparklers and “poppers”/” snappers”)

·        Wood for bonfires, firepit

·        BBQ Pit

·        Hygiene stuff- deodorants, soap, toothpastes/toothbrushes, Listerine, floss, shampoo/conditioners, Kleenex, sanitizers, etc.

·        First aid stuff- Neosporin’s, medications (Advil, Tylenol, Motrin, cough syrup, chloreseptic,) vapor rub, nose sprays, Band-Aids, ice packs, alcohol, peroxides, thermometers, heating pad, massagers, essential oils, etc.

·        Mosquito and bug sprays

·        Gardening supplies (seeds, bulbs, plants, soil, gardening tools and gloves, etc.)

·        Disposable cameras

·        Musical instruments (tambourines, guitars, ukeles, pianos/keyboards, triangles, maracas, dancing ribbons, etc.)

Campers are responsible for bringing:

·        Snacks (will be provided if forgotten)

·        Pillows/blanket for “quiet time” after Lunch (if going to lay down, if not bring book or some type of entertainment to keep quiet)

·        Jackets (in case it is cold inside building), change of clothes for swimming days (towels, sunscreen, clothes, etc.), change of clothes if not fully potty trained, etc.

·        Money (when= pay for trips)

·        Any medication the camper is responsible for taking

CAMP Groups:

·        Green– the youngest group (needs most attention/supervision)- not based just on age, but also how much supervision they require, emotional outbursts, etc.

·        Blue group– Second youngest group (still needs lot of supervision but not as much as green group)

·        Red– Second oldest group- getting ready for the older group, somewhat responsible and have good emotional control (Pink/purple: “Red group” age but need more help/supervision)

·        Yellow group– oldest group -somewhat responsible, “adults” of the campers (Orange: the “yellow group” age but need more help/supervision)

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Disability Journey: Camp We Can Do- My heaven on Earth!!

What teenage girl that has raging hormones and mood swings has never asked the question, “why? Why me?” or said the phrase, “I am ugly”? I know I have said it a lot. When you feel like the only person who has a disability or the only one “outcast from the ‘normal’ children, it can feel quite lonely and you feel very shy and don’t want to socialize and make friends; Camp We Can Do was my answer to this problem.

Camp We Can Do is a day camp that lasts all summer for kids with special needs of all kinds; ranging from ADHD to the most extreme of cases: Autism, Physical disabilities, Down syndrome, and some others. Too numerous to name them all. It is like the camp is a haven for kids who feel like outcasts due to their disabilities. It’s a “World of our own;” which was the theme for the 2007 camp year.

I first heard about Camp We Can Do from my friend that I made when I was in pre-school who has Autism; his parents told my parents about camp because Mom had tried to figure out something to get me out the house during the summers, and this was her answer; it didn’t involve pushing me to try to sleep away from home (I hated sleeping away from home; I got scared too much).

When I heard the news about going to camp, I was so nervous since I was going to be new to the camp, “how would the kids like me? Would I look like a freak to them too? What should I wear so I look okay? What if I made a mistake and got teased?”  Boy, did I worry so much! When Mom and I went shopping for the usual summer clothing shopping trip, I would always ask when I was trying on, “Does this hide my curve?” I would try something on and come out “Does this hide my back? How’s this swimsuit look? It isn’t too tight or reveals my back curve too much? “Does this look okay?” “Ugh, this looks so bad!” “Why I got to be so fat and ugly?!” “I hate my life.” Oh it could go on and on, I hated shopping because if something I liked, didn’t look good on me or didn’t fit right, my whole world would fall apart and then would come the waterworks; you should’ve been there to see an eleven-year-old throwing a tantrum in the store like a little baby!

The first day finally came, I was so scared and nervous: I didn’t talk to anyone, I kept to myself, and didn’t want to take part in activities. I was also very unprepared; I didn’t know I needed a blanket for nap time/”quiet time” or that I needed a snack for snack time (luckily a nice girl who is now one of my best friends, who was like five years old at the time, shared her snack with me.)

After that first day, I loosened up and realized, they won’t tease me or make fun of me. We were all in the same boat; cast aside from the “normal” kids.

When I was a camper at Camp We Can Do, I also acted like a “MOM” to some of the younger children. Sometimes I’d get dropped off early when Dad would bring me. I got there when some of the little kids would get dropped off, and you know little kids when Mommy and Daddy leave, they cry. I would entertain and make them forget that they just got “abandoned” at Camp. There was one little girl who I am not sure of her diagnosis when she’d get dropped off, I’d take her to the bathroom because we had limited staff for early drop-offs. I’d give her some Peanut butter crackers because she was often hungry, I bought her a toothbrush and would bring toothpaste and help her brush her teeth, and would wash her face up with a wet rag. After that, I’d take her to the TV room with the other Early Drop-offs, put her sitting on my lap, and hug her while we watched PBS kids (which I hated, but I dealt with it). When we’d go bowling, I’d often be the one to take her to the bathroom because I was the only “trustworthy” camper (nice way of saying Mentally able to handle the responsibility) and we didn’t have extra staff to take them individually and if we didn’t take her then and there, she’d sometimes have accidents. She loved to sit on my lap, whether it be for arts and crafts, cooking in the kitchen, etc. In the morning exercises, I would help get her engaged by saying “(Name), look. Just like I do” and she’d imitate me. She made me laugh cause she had this cute little phrase “Shake da booty” when they would play music at camp and she’d shake her butt. I often got into fights with the “foster grandparents” because they would force her to get out of my lap, “She’s too big for that, “or “you are a camper, not a staff,” or “She needs to sit in her chair.” Some days, when I’d clean out my closet (since I was in children’s clothes at the time) and she was about as big as I was, I’d sometimes bring her extra clothes and told her mom that she could keep it or bring it back, it didn’t matter. Sometimes I brought her toys and let her take them home for a week, and then she’d bring back to “trade out” for something new. I think her favorite time was snack time, though because she always got her favorite treat; yogurt. She loved yogurt and I always packed it. As soon as I’d open my snack box and she saw it, she’d squeal “OGIE!” (Which was how she said “yogurt”) and I’d spoon feed it to her every day. When she’d get sick at camp, I’d stay by her side the entire time. I’d run and get water for her, watch the nurse take temperature, run and get blankets, whatever she needed, I ran

and got. When we’d wait for her parents to pick her up, when she was sick, I didn’t care if I would get sick, I would hold her in my lap, covered up in a blanket and rock her.

I miss her so much now, but I think her family moved, but she will always remain in my heart as my “little camp daughter.”

Sure I loved my years at camp we can do, but there were downsides to it, as well.  One downside was when I stood up to a camper for one of my friends and this camper punched me in the face.  I got in trouble for not telling a counselor, instead of taking it into my own hands. Another downside was when I got in trouble with a counselor, but I was allowed to leave my groups to help with photos by the director. When the counselors would fuss me over what I deemed “Stupid stuff” I’d tell them off and got sassy. Now that I am older and have volunteered as a staff, I realize what they were trying to do. 

I loved camp, and I loved the friends I made through Camp We Can Do, but there were times I didn’t like as well but like everything else: You take the good with the Bad.

As a child with a disability myself, I have always been exposed to different special needs and disabilities, but my first “real” exposure to Autism didn’t happen until I was 12 years old and met a boy who would later be known as “my autistic stalker,” because he would call me all the time and never give me any space, but that’s later in this story.

When I was 12, I met “my autistic stalker,” at camp through his neighbor, and a counselor at Camp We Can Do, who had her own Autistic son. She drove all of us to Camp from Opelousas. My “Autistic Stalker” when I first met him, was a quiet, shy boy who mostly kept to himself except when he got the sudden urge to quote characters from cartoons; That is until he met me.

Don’t get me wrong, he was like that with me too, at first, but each morning I would get in the car, greet him with a smile “Good Morning (name)” and give him a hug. By the end of that summer, I had broken him out of his “Autistic Shell,” and got him talking. The following school year, however, the adaptive P.E. coach who traveled to all the schools, told me that I had developed a “Secret admirer” in this boy.

Since I had never “truly” experienced any relations with an Autistic boy before; aside from my Pre-K buddy, I did not realize what a crush from an Autistic male would entail. At first, I thought it was “Cute” and flattering: I’d let him hold my hand, I let him kiss my cheek, after all, I didn’t have a boyfriend; it got more severe the more I let it go on: pretty soon, he’d have a meltdown if I left the room just to go to the bathroom, yelling as loud as he could “JAMIE COME BACK!” and I was like “Dude, I got to go pee!”

I didn’t want to cut him off as a friend so I let him keep calling me, even when  he’d call more than once: and I had better answer or He’d call and call and call until I’d answer the phone, leaving a bunch of voicemails. I also couldn’t skip Camp or he’d have a meltdown, “JAMIE I can’t go to Camp without you,” or “JAMIE I HATE SICK! YOU GOTTA GO TO CAMP TOMORROW! I CANT GO BOWLING (Or SWIMMING) WITHOUT YOU!” Sometimes just to get him to not cry on the phone, I’d pacify him and say “FINE (NAME), I AM ALL BETTER” and go to Camp the next day, even if I felt like crud.  If his calling got on my nerves, and I didn’t want to blow up at him, sometimes I’d answer and try to disguise my voice (which didn’t work) and say “HELLO THIS IS PIZZA HUT. What size Pizza would you like?” He’d get so flustered and argue, “THIS Isn’t Pizza HUT, you’re Jamie Cormier!” I’d keep up the “pizza hut” charade until he’d eventually hang up, only to call the number again.

He was obsessed with Power Rangers and he always said he was the green ranger. I hated when my mom would bring him and I  to and from camp because this was literally the conversation:

HIM: Jamie, you are the pink ranger and I am the green ranger

ME: I want to be purple

HIM: NO! Girls are Pink!

ME: I prefer Purple.

HIM: NO! You are pink!

MOM: My favorite color is green, so I’ll be the green ranger

HIM: NOOO! Mrs. Cormier, I’m the green ranger and Jamie the pink ranger

(ON and on and on; the whole ride going to camp and the whole ride coming back.)

During swimming with the camp, we were play splashing each other, playing chase in the pool, when all of a sudden he grabbed me and dunked me under the water multiple times when I was caught off guard. Scary, right? I was terrified, and thankfully the counselors were around to stop him, and after the incident, he teary-eyed would point “but she got a bee in her hair, I was trying to get it out.” I have to laugh about it now, but back then, I was scared he was trying to drown me.

Another thing was when he first started his “crush,” I will admit that I used it to my advantage; didn’t want to get up to go get my snack bag? I sent him. Wanted fresh water from the fountain in a cup? I sent him. Wanted a “guinea pig” to test new snacks on? I

made him eat it first. There was a rolling chair at camp that my friends and I claimed at “snack time”. We sat in it while ate our snacks and if we wanted to move locations, we made him push us. I don’t know why, but we gave him the name “sofa” when he did stuff for us; kind of like a pet-slave or butler that we took in. Kids will be kids, even when you also have disabilities, still can “bully”; another dark memory from Jr. High years.

On the way to camp, we’d jam to mostly country music; he loved Rascal Flatts, and on the song “Me and My Gang,” for some reason he’d tickle me when the chorus would go “Me and My Gang.” (WHY DOES EVERYONE LOVE TICKLING ME?) I remember one year for the Camp talent show, he sang to “Life is a Highway,” I remember watching him and thinking “he never would’ve done that had he not met me and opened up,” I was so proud of how much progress he had made, even though sometimes his constant clinginess to me, drove me crazy.

There were things I loved about him: I could do whatever I wanted and he not hate me: Draw mustaches on his face, give him marker tattoos, sing at the top of my lungs and he didn’t care, he was really good at simple math (arithmetic) and drawing ninja turtles. For the Halloween and Christmas Dances, he always wanted me to dance with him at least 1x. The thing I didn’t like was how clingy he became since being friends (total 7 years) and how jealous he got when I was with other boys at camp, even when I became a counselor and had to interact with them as part of my “job.” When he saw me with other boys, no matter their age, he’d either tug me away as hard/rough as he could, chase them off yelling at them, charge at them physically; I had to send him to the “office” for that a lot! The other thing was, he was starting to try to kiss me on the lips; One day he tried, and it was a bad day already: I snapped and soon had him pinned to the fence, yelling “YOU DO THAT AGAIN and You will lose teeth or your lip will swell!” That Moment, I am not proud of.

I know he couldn’t help it, but my anger/temper is one of my biggest faults. I am working on it now because going into the field of special Ed, you don’t know what you could face, so I have to try to work on my anger/temper, and patience.

One moment I am proud of with this individual was when he started freshman year at my high school during my senior year. The first day, I saw him and his mom in the halls, and I promised I’d look out for him since I was a senior and would have some free time: I’d defend him in the hall (got sent to the principal so many times for fighting, kicking, and hitting anyone who would mock him and tease him). He would see me in the hall and he’d get all excited and do that “spaz out” flapping thing that some Autistics do and yell “JAMIE!” He usually saw me for lunchtime, so everyone was out of their classes at this time, and a lot of “normal Ed.” Students would imitate this action and laugh, or they’d mess with me “Oooh Jamie’s got a retard boyfriend!” You can ask my Graduating class, I could be a witch if you got on my bad side. Another thing I did to take up for him, was when I got him switched from his first teacher’s class because I had gone into her room to check on him during my free time, and she’d always have him in a time out for something that he couldn’t help; it was a manifestation of his disability, or she had the class doing kindergarten work and they were in high school; like color sheets or stuff like that. Yes, they had Autism, but try tapping into that brain, you might be surprised. I argued and fought with her so much about these issues and got sent to the principal again because I “was disrespecting my elders,” then the witch needs to do her job, eventually through my being sent to the office so much, my friend got switched to a new special needs class.

As much as his constant calling used to get on my nerves, I kind of miss it, but I also don’t want to reopen that door, because our future has changed, however. When I was first starting college he’d still call excessively no matter how much I’d say “(name) I’m in college, I need to study. As of this year, the calls have finally stopped. All I can do is pray that he is having a good life and enjoying it, whatever he is up to now. One thing I learned through “my autistic stalker friend,” is that there are boundaries and limits you need to set, it’s a social issue and as such, you need to make sure they understand you only see them “this way” and not “that way,” No matter how many times I just told him “No, just a friend,” he never understood: when this all started, I was only 12, I was too young and too friendly to know I had to set limits and boundaries, I never would’ve realized that things could escalate to what they did until I experienced it. As much as the situation would frustrate me because of the phone calls, the clinginess, etc., I still miss him as a friend, but also I don’t want to re-open communication because he’s finally understood I need boundaries and space, and I worry if I try to reinstall communication, that boundaries will be demolished and we’ll be back where we were with him, and I can’t risk a clingy jealous “stalker friend,” and a boyfriend: Life is about choosing and I will always be here if his mom ever needs to get in touch with me, I will always be here to help from afar and here to emotionally support them, but I just can’t risk destroying the improvement he’s made with realizing I need space and boundaries. I will always love him as a friend, and I love all the things I learned by meeting him and him being in my life; it’s just for the best if I don’t ever try to re-establish communication (or so I think. Maybe I am in the wrong, I don’t know.). Another thing I don’t like is that due to it being handled by Lafayette Consolidated Government, the camp cannot hire former campers (however they can volunteer) due to liability issues; who would know how to run the camp the way campers would enjoy it more, than a former camper? I just think it is unjust and unfair to former campers who have the mentality and responsibility, but just a physical disability, or a slight learning disability, but whatever.

Even now, when I am grown and in college, I continued to go to Camp We Can Do occasionally, but not as a camper anymore; now as a volunteer counselor because I can offer something other counselors can’t, Empathy; because I was once like them, new to the camp, scared and nervous, wanting to be accepted; I could share my experiences and give them advice. I could be like a role model they could come to, and I could provide a memorable experience for the future campers, so they will have fun and want to keep coming back like I did. However, that did not pan out because I didn’t mind not getting paid or the liability thing as much as what happened when I became a volunteer: I didn’t have to be there, I wanted to be there to help, but none of the other counselors (the ones that actually were hired and got paid) took me seriously: They never let me do anything to help or they picked minimal jobs (I guess out of fear of me getting hurt, I don’t know). I would go complain to the director and it was like she wasn’t listening to the problems I was having and it was like she would just tune me out when I tried to present an idea. Another problem I had was the kids; I understand it is odd having someone your height telling you to do stuff, they probably thought I was just trying to be a counselor, but on the first day, the director even presented me as “a volunteer” and to treat me as such; well no one did that: Not the campers, not the other staff, not even the director herself. As much as I miss my campers that held special spots in my heart, and I loved what the camp stood for, but it wasn’t worth the stress and the aches in my back from the stress: It was obvious I needed to move on from Camp We Can Do, and I have; although I still do keep in touch with a few of my special campers that have my heart.

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Rewrite the stars- Greatest Showman song- relates to my relationship with my fiance’

Last night, I was on my pain meds and as usual the drugs made me a sappy, hormonal, emotional wreck; especially when all they do is make me tired and don’t actually help my pain, and as tired as I am, I cannot get comfy enough to actually go to sleep- which causes me to become irritable, frustrated, and emotional. Warning: Below, is how I feel on those kinds of days. You’ve been warned.

Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely love my fiance’ and most of the time I cannot absolutely at all fathom my life without him, but on my really bad pain days when I am cooped up in the house on pain meds and can’t stand my own life, I relate to Zendaya’s lyrics of the song.

He is so positive and confident about us, and I am like that girl (because of my age difference and looking like a kid, and my disability- the “mountains,” and “doors can’t walk through”) and what the world thinks. and just waiting for him to realize that it is hopeless and impossible for us to truly be happy together. I am always thinking “he didn’t sign on for all these issues: Me hurting all the time, me lashing out at him because I am hurting and frustrated; because I’m irritable.. How can I expect him to love me when I don’t even love myself?”

Maybe he’ll teach me a thing or two, or maybe if I have such idle time, pay attention to the negativity.
It’s a lot of self-esteem issues and idle time, pain meds causing depression, being bullied from a very young age (5 years old)- it’s hard to escape the “voices” of my past, but I am working hard on it because I do love him and I know he loves me.

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Medical Headache, incompetence, and idiotic rules

As you all are aware by now, yesterday I went to Vidalia for a pain management appointment and found out that I have Osteoporosis forming. Today, I called my Surgeon in St Louis, Missouri, to find out if it would affect my surgery.

Missouri office: Can they fax it to the results to us?

Me: I’ll call and ask.

Vidalia office: we need a release, however, we can send the results to your referring doctor.

Me: Okay.

Referring Dr office: Oh, we can’t fax other doctors’ records.

*Facepalms* This is why the medical field and disabilities suck. Can’t get help, what so ever. You are a freaking Dr. Office, do your job!

I called the St Louis office back and explained the situation and they are going to call Vidalia and see if there is something they can do.

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so disgusted and embarrassed by this! Boycotting my little pony? its 2019..ugh

So a lot of People have no issues with Disney movies or children’s programming promoting heterosexual “need a man/prince,” mentality, but as soon as something airs with homosexual relations, everyone that is crazy traditional religious is all up in arms and “grab your pitchforks and torches, burn the blasphemers.” It’s 2019 people, there should be no more homophobia, transphobia, disability-phobia, dwarf-phobia, racism, sexist ideas, or any of that stuff. The old testament was before Jesus’ time, the new testament was around Jesus teachings but actually written by “followers” of Jesus. Who knows, they could have thrown in their own views or maybe when it was translated from Hebrew or whatever language, something got “lost in translation.” I mean, think about it, Jesus hung out with the sinners, prostitutes, the “scum of the scum,” as people viewed them. He taught love and acceptance. Not trying to change their ways by saying “You’re  GOING TO HELL!” he did it through love, he made them want to turn from their sins, not try to force it. 

Today there was an article on WAFB Channel 9 about a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Episode that featured the character, Scootaloo, being looked after by her same-sex couple aunts; Aunt Holiday and Aunt Lofty. First, it was Arthur about Mr. Ratburn and a gay wedding, and now this. People were all pissed about both “It isn’t appropriate for children,” “Protect our children,” “Satan’s agenda,” blah blah blah. 

I may have been brought up Catholic all my life, and I still love my religion, faith, and God almighty, but the organization has its own faults ..*Cough* *Cough* Pedo Priests getting frisky with the altar boys or whatever. We are all human, we all have faults, we all sin. 

But the media are doing things like this to try to be relatable and give representation to minorities and their families: Homosexuals(The child or the parents), bi-racial (parents or child), single-parent households, being raised by someone other than parents (Grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins, adopted, orphaned, fostered, etc.), transsexuals (parents or child), those with disabilities. With more representation and showing that these people aren’t weirdos or “freaks,” and that they are just like everyone else and shouldn’t be targeted, harassed, bullied, etc. over stuff they can’t control. 


Since a lot of parents tend to shove their ideas and beliefs down their children’s throats, and not teach their kids to not be little assholes, its up to society to also push in some compassion and empathy because there are many walks of life and no one should be bullied to the point of trauma, depression, homicide, or suicide.  

https://www.wafb.com/news/national/2019/06/12/my-little-pony-brings-same-sex-couple-latest-episode/?fbclid=IwAR0aVMBrRNi39ZEKJIbFNmv_0w6LMevvOF5OHdjuUbKScVpgnqCnhK8GPd8

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AntiBullying Rant (youtube video, Posted 2018)

End bullying now!

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Who says we don’t live in an ableist society? *warning:Rant!* -April 2019

Who says we don’t live in an Ableist Mindset society? Those people are either in guilt or denial or just too blind to see it. Society considers Ableds the norm. Look around:
1.) PreBirth Screenings: what is one of the first things said after the diagnosis. Usually, options to abort the pregnancy. The ones not in prebirth screenings and are later diagnosed: doctors tell parents to institutionalize, medicate to the point some kids are zombies or some therapies like shock therapy or the like. or what about school- when some with disabilities are segregated off to “special classes” all day away from mainstream “Normal” children, which results in isolation, lack of social skills developing, the “normal” kids aren’t exposed to differences which result in teasing and bullying, we are “labeled” and Limited. We get that diagnosis and suddenly people are like “oh how will she be a functional adult citizen when she older?” “She can’t work” “probably doesn’t have a good mind.”


2.) Media- TV, Movies, Magazines, etc.: how many portray disabilities? And the ones that do, are they portrayed by people with the actual disabilities, usually not, usually they hire someone without the disability and put them in makeup..as great as the movie Wonder was, it was portrayed by an actor without a disability and put into makeup. How many magazines or books feature disabilities? YES There is more than there was back in the olden days, but it’s still a minority compared to others.


3.) Accessibility: Yes, they have elevators, but what’s one thing always said when a fire breaks out.. Don’t use the elevators.. so are the disabled suppose to just sit up in a burning building and wait for help? We need backups- A ramp that goes up or one of those chairs that go along the stairs or something! Look at the Cracks in sidewalks.. some are almost as bad as potholes in the road. Some people in wheelchairs without seatbelts can get “dumped out” due to cracks. Or older buildings that don’t have “accessibility.” It is 2019, you can apply for grants to get the accessibility.


4.) Bullying/encouraging suicide- those with disabilities get on social media and express themselves on Youtube or something like that and get “trolls” and “cyber Bullies” who encourage them to “kill themselves” or “how their families would be better off, ” “how we should have been aborted,” etc. Stuff a lot of us have heard our entire lives. People getting rude to us because we are: Walking slow, not really paying attention and “in their way,” drive slower than other people, struggle to drive the hover-carts in the stores, etc. Whispers behind our backs, teasing to our face, staring at us like we are some sort of “Side-Street Freak Show.”

oh and lets not forget how alot of people can abuse the system, but a disabled person stays honest and they can lose benefits by getting married (which should be a basic human right for anyone), trying to work and be functional to the best of their abilities (can’t have more than $2000 in the bank or you get knocked off and cant have a lot of assets,) just living with my parents, I only got $38 in food stamps. I get more now living in an apartment and having very little money for any fun due to bills and when i am in college- tuition. #AsifLifewasntHardEnoughwithjustDisabilities
So yeah, keep telling yourselves, we don’t live in an ableist society. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
#DisabledsNeedaVoice #WeareHumanToo #FuckSocietysStandards