So around 3:15 p.m. on Saturday, March 8, 2020, I received an email from email@example.com saying I had gotten $250.00 from a Jeremy Fontenot. I found that strange considering I don’t know any Jeremy Fontenots and when I looked at details the email was addressed to firstname.lastname@example.org not my Jamie.email@example.com so why did it go to my gmail? Even stranger, the person wrote “for tickets” in the details for the transaction. What tickets? I wasn’t selling any tickets or anything. I was faced with a moral decision to make..”Do I keep the money even though I know it wasn’t intended for me even though I could really use it?” or “Do I do the right thing, email the person, tell them the mixup and send the money back?” I did what I would want someone to do if it was me, I emailed them and then returned the money to them, even though I really (really, really, really) wanted to keep it. I did however get something out of it; not monitary, but something much better- Pride in myself, and I got a compliment from the individual in an email, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind heart in this situation. It could’ve gone in a negative direction, but because of you, it was very nice. This gives me one more example to tell of how there are great people in this world. I hope you have a fantastic day and blessings your way. By the way, I told my cousin that since yall emails are so close, I advised him to change it up a little so this confusion doesn’t happen again. Y’all already have the same name! LOL.” and I emailed back, telling him “LOL, Only difference really is I am female. I’ve been scammed out of money before, so I get it and I’m disabled so I guess I have a lot of empathy I guess, I dont know. Anyway thanks for the compliments. Would I liked $250 ,sure who wouldn’t? But Keeping it wouldn’t be right. Anyway God bless and If you would like to know more about my life and story, I have 2 blog pages and a youtube channel,” and gave him the links to them. He emailed back saying ” I will definitely look at your youtube and read about your story.” So I possibly got a new online follower out of it 🙂
As someone with a disability, the future is always uncertain and scary. I have always had doubts and questions about what I could do as a job or career because anytime I get sick or have a pain day and end up in bed, the worry and doubt come in; “How will I work? No one will want to hire if I can never go into work!, How will I function at work with pain if my pain meds knock me on my butt and make me tired?” On and on, the worries come in and circle in my head until I am an emotional, anxious mess.
That is the beauty of at-home businesses; you can be your boss, control when you work, your work can be done from a mobile device or computer, etc.
Avon is technically not new to me; my Mom used to sell it when I was in High school and I did help her by promoting them at school. I enjoyed it and I am very social when not in pain, plus I know how to use my social media outlets to my advantage.
Hopefully, I will have luck with it 🙂 Anyway, if interested in ordering with me here is my website https://www.youravon.com/jcormier
Wish me luck! ❤
It’s officially December and I am not in the Christmas spirit like usual. Usually, I would be going all out with decorations and such, but not this year- maybe lights and that’s it. Due to moving in Jan. We don’t want to have to haul extra stuff than what is needed. Plus, it will be the first Christmas without Mommie, Mr. Mike James, my cousin Racheal Mary Meche, Ms. Nancy Moticka
It has been too much death in one year; not to mention all the other I care about who isn’t around anymore either- My other grandmother (maw), and then one of the most influential women in my life, Mrs. Evelyn Zehner, “Mrs. Z” from Camp we can do. It’s just so hard… I know there are worse people off, but for some reason I just cannot get into the spirit yet this year. Is it because of not decorating much this year, the financial stresses and having to ask mom to loan money for us to buy Christmas gifts until David can find a job? I don’t know. Just tired of always being miserable. I can’t remember the last time I was sincerely happy for more than a few hours.
😥 I don’t know, I just been depressed all day today. Hopefully, I can get out of this funk. Prayers appreciated. I hate it when I get depression.
There’s been a mutual decision between David Piazza and I after all of us discussing things over with Mom, to push the wedding back another year. So it’ll be may 2021.. we haven’t gotten much done as far as planning and in Catholics churches, need to let church priests know 6 months ahead of event.. That’d be next month, plus we’ll be moving into my parents’ house the beginning of 2020. Plus this way, I’ll be over a year post-op and better able to plan and enjoy it. Sorry for any disappointments but tis life ❤️❤️❤️🤷 we feel this will be better in long run.
People often say “The world is a rainbow of different communities spreading love and good, frolocking with others. There are the ones who are the pessimistis who see their world as a never ending burden of turmoil and misery, and then the type that are the “fakers”- The ones who walk around all jolly and happy and wearing a complete “mask” in public. That is me.
I guess you are probably wondering “what is this going on about? The title says ‘One Mountain conquered, but life dealt me another summit to excavate.” What I mean by this is, I had my surgery to fix the broken rods and it was a major success, however during that surgery another issue was discovered; an infection in my rods.
Below are my newest X-rays.
To combat this infection issue, a pic-line was placed in my left arm while I was at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St Louis, Missouri, and put on antibiotics via IV infusions for 6 weeks and then will be switched to an antibiotic pill indefinitely until the doctor sees fit to get me off said antibiotics.
A week after my surgery, on Aug. 21, I was discharged from the hospital to go back to my home in Louisiana so that Medicaid would cover my IV antibiotics; if not, We would’ve had to pay out of pocket for the treatments and it was $120 a treatment (6 weeks of treatments, 2 x a day- so $120 a treatment x2 times a day x7 days x 6 weeks = $10080, and then if we stayed in s Louis but not at the hospital (haven house)= $50 a night x 6 weeks at least = $2100..yeah, I think we made the better decision by coming home…LOL)
Now 2 weeks and 4 days post-op, I awoke to my IV tape rolled up, the pic line area exposed (I am thinking that I was scratching in my sleep). When my fiance went to clean it up and re-tape it, he noticed that the pic line was out more than the doctors like, so we rushed to our local E.R., Lady of Lourdes Hospital. Once there, they were swift about getting me to the back; a nurse, however, decided to remove my pic line from my left arm (which was covered in red splotches due to allergic reaction to the tape) instead of leaving it for the specialist to push it back in. Hours later, the specialist showed up and had to re- stick me for a new pic line in my right arm now, when she said that had the nurse previously not removed it, they could’ve just pushed my other one back in. Now I am back home and my right arm is sore and throbbing because the lidocaine sedative is wearing off and my muscles are aching.
Oh well, I did what I needed to do and I will “grin and bear” this burden I have to deal with for 6 weeks until I can switch to my pill version of antibiotics. I cannot wait for this darn pic line to be out of my arm, but all good things come to those who wait. I will pray for God to grant me patience to deal with it.
Last night, I was on my pain meds and as usual the drugs made me a sappy, hormonal, emotional wreck; especially when all they do is make me tired and don’t actually help my pain, and as tired as I am, I cannot get comfy enough to actually go to sleep- which causes me to become irritable, frustrated, and emotional. Warning: Below, is how I feel on those kinds of days. You’ve been warned.
Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely love my fiance’ and most of the time I cannot absolutely at all fathom my life without him, but on my really bad pain days when I am cooped up in the house on pain meds and can’t stand my own life, I relate to Zendaya’s lyrics of the song.
He is so positive and confident about us, and I am like that girl (because of my age difference and looking like a kid, and my disability- the “mountains,” and “doors can’t walk through”) and what the world thinks. and just waiting for him to realize that it is hopeless and impossible for us to truly be happy together. I am always thinking “he didn’t sign on for all these issues: Me hurting all the time, me lashing out at him because I am hurting and frustrated; because I’m irritable.. How can I expect him to love me when I don’t even love myself?”
Maybe he’ll teach me a thing or two, or maybe if I have such idle time, pay attention to the negativity.
It’s a lot of self-esteem issues and idle time, pain meds causing depression, being bullied from a very young age (5 years old)- it’s hard to escape the “voices” of my past, but I am working hard on it because I do love him and I know he loves me.
At a fork,
unsure which way to go,
which path to take,
where is my place?
The Mark that I will make,
to leave my name on this planet Earth,
What road do I travel?
Where will Life’s journey send me?
stuck at the fork,
indecisions and unsure feelings,
obstacles and road blocks,
refusing my passage,
another mountain to climb,
another challenge to conquer,
How do i choose?
How do I Find my place?
My place, my mark on the world,
the legacy I will leave behind,
How do I find it,
in such a huge huge world, filled with endless choices,
but physical limitations, that and fear,
preventing me,blocking me,
not trusting and believing in myself,
blame lack of self-esteem and lack of confidence,
but I’m just a small girl,in a huge huge world.
One day, I’ll grow,
let go of the fear and obstacles holding me back,
I’ll figure it out,
one day at a time,
learning and growing each day,
blossoming, and blooming into a young lady,
I’ll find my way one day,
and have my found my place in the world.
What is normalcy? Normality is the condition of being normal; the state of being usual, typical, or expected, but what is “normal”? The definition of Normal can be defined as conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. As humans, especially around the ages of adolescence, all the way up to adulthood, we seek to be accepted; to be “normal,” but who are we to decide what is and isn’t normal?
If someone is different than us: whether it be in beliefs, religions, color of skin, sexuality, behaviors, physical appearances, etc., we make judgments and assumptions. Due to culture or who we grow up around, sometimes if we see a male with black skin, we assume they are dangerous. If a child acts up in the store, we assume they need butt-whooping and are lacking discipline, when really there could be underlying issues such as Autism or some other mental disability. If an Autistic child has a sudden “spasm” of energy and bounces around, we judge it as “weird,” or “funny,” and often times our teenage “normal” children mock and make fun of such behaviors. If we know someone is homosexual or “gay,” we automatically think/judge that those people are “going to hell,” due to religions’ teachings. We think “our way” is the right way and all or any other ways are all wrong, but God made us all different with different talents and gifts, shouldn’t our differences be celebrated instead of us being crucified and stoned to death for them? No Matter the differences, we are all human and we all bleed the same. Who are we to Judge others, when we as humans, all have sins and “Skeletons in our closets”? We are not God, even if you don’t believe in him, we have no right to judge others when we have our own faults. Why can’t there be more love in the world and less hate, bullying, and ill-will towards others; like the Black- Eyed Peas’ song, “Where Is the Love?” We as a species need to learn to “drop the arms” and learn to hug it out instead, or we will end up fighting ourselves into extinction. I, for one, refuse to be “Normal,” I want to be Abnormal.
All my life, I would like to say,
I was a “normal” child
Could run and do all the activities like the others,
But that would be a lie.
Sure, I went to P.E., with my fellow peers,
But that was only two days a week.
Rest of the time, I was segregated,
To a “special” Adapted P.E.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the adapted P.E.,
But when you already know you are different than your friends,
You don’t want,
Another sign or “special treatment”,
That proves it.
You long to be “normal,” but no;
Sit on the sidelines, walk the track…
While the other kids run and tackle,
Coaches and teaches,
Fearing you bruising and the possibility of parents suing.
“Can’t do this, Can’t do that, oh be careful! Don’t hurt yourself!”
Why are these warnings only given to me?
Why not Jared, Josh, or Malorie?
Even now, as an adult,
I still let people,
Who I trust, and think know better than I,
Make decisions for my life.
I lie, and say it’s just for advice,
Because if they knew the truth,
They’d just say something along the lines,
“Stay true to you.”
How can I do that?
When All my life,
I have had others,
Telling me what to do,
Never letting me,
Test the waters or learn from mistakes,
Okay, there were mistakes I could still learn,
But really, how can it be, me An Adult?
When I have no strong standing,
Or sense of self.
but, in all honesty,
Who is Jamie?
What is the difference
of people who are handicapped and special needs
are they not all people too?
why must we be judged by our appearances, and
making us feel alone in the world.
why do we constantly put stress on each other, and
why cant we all just get along?
what is the difference?
don’t we all have souls, arms, and legs?
whats the difference?
just because we look different,
doesn’t mean we are a different species, mutants or freaks of nature.
What is the difference?