update on my grandmother; Not looking good

My mom gave me an update on my grandmother last night; they are calling in hospice but taking her back to the nursing home to ensure she is comfortable and safe. 😦 It doesn’t look like she has much longer. I need to go visit her now before its too late. I don’t want my last memories being regrets of not visiting her enough or her being sickly in the hospital a day or two before she passes. Mom said “she’s not in her right mind,” but it is like I don’t mind. I need to go visit her. My gut is telling me I need to go. So more than likely, she will not get to see me get married or graduate with my bachelors degree or any of those future things. 😥 *sigh*
But that is life, it isn’t always fair and doesn’t always make sense. As long as she isn’t suffering anymore, I need to remember that.

Got the most devastating news today-May 2019

Just 11 days before my grandma’s birthday, my fiance’ had a missed call from my mom this morning so I called her back; she wanted him to tell me that my grandma(mommee) is in the hospital and it wasn’t looking good, that her kidneys were failing and they were debating on dialysis. Just wanting me to “prepare for the worst.”

My “Mommee” is my last remaining grandparent and after she passes, I will basically be a “grandparent orphan.” Never will she get to see me walk down the aisle for my wedding(which is a year away), never will she be able to see me become a parent, never will she be able to see me finish school and chase my dreams, or any other things I had dreamed about her seeing for my future.

I love you, Mommee. Please recover from this, but I also know that if you do pass, it is God’s will and you will be in a better place. No longer suffering with the dementia, confusion, and pains of this world; only the loved ones left behind are the ones who mourn and grieve the loss. ❤