Based on my current stamina level, I decided to only resume college part-time: 9 credit hours-3 classes scheduled: I will be taking Eng359:Advanced English writing for social sciences class (Monday and Wed. 1-2:15 p.m.), Socio364: Juvenile Delinquency (Because I feel like that would be interesting- on Mon, Wed., and Friday 10 a.m.-10:50 a.m.), and CMCN307: Communication in leadership class (online). I still have many many many choices in classes I want to eventually take but they were either full or not available this semester. I am just so eager to start back in the fall and I hope I don’t get burnt out, able to keep up and try my best and get something out of these classes I’m very optimistic and I think I chose some pretty good classes. Let’s see how long that optimism stays. haha.
What girl is resuming college in the fall semester and only 28 credits from bachelor’s degree in general studies with a concentration in behavioral studies…? this girl, right here! Woot woot.
However, being I have 28 hours left: All I have left is an Advanced English writing class, some general electives, and enrichment (concentration) classes. While I think if I do 2 semesters of full time-each one will be about 15 credit hours, (which is about 5 classes if its a 3-day class)- more if its a 2-day class.) that will be 2 extra credit hours in the end run, but then I will be done by end of next spring if I am able to keep my grades up.
However, I been out for a while and I get stressed and overwhelmed easily, so maybe Instead of setting myself up to fail and burned out, I only do a few part-time, even though I am thinking these will be “Easy” classes.
I don’t know what the workloads entail for these classes. Plus my stamina isn’t great right now. So looking at my energy level now, it’d probably be safest to do part-time in the fall, and then in spring, I can work my way up to more credit hours. (although maybe not, since spring starts in January and that’s still cold…unless it’s mostly online during that time. I don’t know. Time will tell.) Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Many people on my Facebook suggested only taking 1-2 other classes besides the advanced writing class because for most people, advanced writing classes take up a lot of time.
The next biggest issues while registering for classes:
1.) When going to the course description, some descriptions only say “will have an additional cost,” It doesn’t say anything about what the course is about or the workload expectancy: Like how is a student supposed to figure out if that class is a good fit with another class they are taking? UGH!
2.) Most of the classes I am looking at either is full to capacity, not a good fit with the advanced writing class, and some just aren’t available/an option for this semester.
So right now, the only class I can schedule is advanced writing: Could that be a sign from God? Like “Hello, all you need to take is this one class for right now.” Only time will tell.
In High School, I learned that for me to get stuff accomplished, I Need To Do Lists, color-coded or numbered by priority: Otherwise everything is absolute chaos. Yesterday I made a to-do list and got most of it completed:
I called the genetics doctor to do the genetics testing and find out more about my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: what type I have, what symptoms of that type, etc.
I had been waiting to hear back from them. I went to my GP (general physician) in August 2020 to get a referral, they finally sent the referral in Oct or November, and I had still not heard back from the genetics dr office to get an appointment set up. I called and the referral was never uploaded into the computer so I had to call my GP to ask them to refax the referral, but instead of having to wait for that, they went ahead and got all my file info and set an appointment to get me in the books; won’t be until August (unless someone cancels or reschedules, I am on a waitlist.)
In other news, I am down to 3 pain pills left and my pain management doctor appointment isn’t until the 29th of this month! I called to find out if there was any possible way to either give me another half refill to tide me over until the appointment or to move my appointment up: I was shot down for both! I have 60 ct of tramadol per script- however, since I was completely out of my 60 at my last appointment- they had mentioned that they were going to up my count to 120 pills per bottle-but forgot to do that, I see the doctor every 2 months, and my dosage on my bottle says “take 1-2 every 4-6 hours as needed. Max dosage 8 daily;” On a BAD pain day, I take 6; On a good day, I only take 1. On a great (Miraculous rare day) I take 0. I was completely out on my last appointment on 1/28 (so they were filled that afternoon,) that 60 pills lasted me 20 days till 2/17. 2/17 lasted me until 3/11 with 3 left that I will now have to hide in a spot for absolute emergencies until my appointment on 3/29. The next 17 days will be a test of patience, nerves, and will power, I will have to hope and pray that Tylenol and my spasm medications (Baclofen) and (Gabapentin) will be enough, However: If I lose patience and become “Short with anyone,” I am apologizing now ahead of time. Please bear with me and realize I do not mean it, I am in pain and therefore my nerves are already on edge.
I do not know what happened today, but early this evening, I fell. I am assuming I tripped over a thing of bottle waters, but I am not exactly sure what happened; it all happened so fast! I know that all day I been feeling pretty tired, weak, dizzy, lightheaded; kind of day-dreamy. Research shows that it could be a Ehlers Danlos thing: POTS or Dissociate, Brain Fog, or dysautonomia, or it could just be the fact its “that time of month.” Who knows, its a mystery. I am not even sure what way I landed or anything. I think I fell on my side, but I cant remember for sure.
I do not hurt right now, but I will probably feel it tomorrow. I just hope I haven’t done anymore damage to my rods than they already are. If the pain shows up and lasts, I will do x-rays and send them off to Dr. Kelly in St Louis.
For now, I just got a lecture from Mom about being more careful and to “use my walker,” and “let go of my pride,” blah blah blah. It isn’t a pride thing Mom. it’s just hard to remember to use that thing when most of the time I do not need to use it. I do not mind my cane, walker, or wheelchair, but most of the time I am fine, so I do not think to use them when I feel weak. I will have to figure out a way to remind myself I guess. I just wish I knew why I was having these falling spells?? This is my second one, first one was back in August. Is it because of “that time of month,” or something more serious? Is it because I am not being cautious enough? Its a mystery..One I will have to figure out before I end up living in a plastic bubble because I am such a klutz. Ugh!
I got a email from the Mychart app from my Infections dr; Dr. Mejia. He got my bloodwork results in from Quest diagnostics in Lafayette, LA. Good news, I am negative for infection (meaning, no more infection in my body) according to the bloodwork.
Bad news, he still insists on the plan of antibiotics being a life-long thing; due to the “complexity of the infection,” whatever the heck that means.
To say, I am disappointed and upset is an understatement. This makes 2 years that my labs show I am infection free. I had hopes that I could eventually get off the antibiotics. I am not even 30 years old yet, and the idea of life-long antibiotics; God willing I live to a ripe old age, that would be 60+ years of antibiotics!
yes, it times like these it is hard to see the light and positivity of my life, but I cannot loose my faith and Hope in God my lord and savior. He is good and all powerful, he is all knowing and can perform wonderous miracles. He is the only one who knows how my story will go. Be gone, Satan, quit tormenting me with emotional meltdowns and sorrow. I will try to look to God and find peace in his love and warm embrace.
I made more slideshows about my life in pictures. I added all my slideshows to a playlist on my youtube.
Link to playlist: My Life Slideshows – YouTube
New videos on my youtube: A slideshow of my 2012 Halo Traction+ Surgeries in St Louis, Walking after surgery, and rambling on pain meds after surgeries.
Today was my cardiovascular appointment with my heart doctor and it seemed like a same-old same old- type appointment; which may be true for the doctor, but for me, as I have never really read over my discharge appointment summaries before really, I was shocked.
For some reason I decided to read my discharge summary papers once I got in the car, and according to the papers I had a few problems I was not aware of. I knew that they had said I had a valve that was being watched, but according to the papers, I have “acquired insufficency of aortic valve”, in addition to “non-rheumatic mitral regurgaitation,” as well as Sinus Tachycardia (I knew I had tachycardia but learned what type). I also have WPW (Wolf Parkinson white syndrome, which I knew about already and had a cardiac radiofrequency ablation for it in 2013.)
I scheduled a Echocardiogram for Jan. 15, 2021 at 7:15 a.m. and will get results on Jan 20, 2021 and will update with results when I get them.
But to see those new medical problems (even if they not new in my medical history, they were new for my discovery) were definitely scary and made me realize I need to maybe pay more attention to my medical information. It is my body, I need to be familiar with it.
Anyway, goodnight all.
Yesterday, Mom called me and told me that “If I want to go say my final goodbyes to Mommie, I might want to go as soon as I could.” David and I had plans already, but I had an emotional breakdown while at our plans, so we dropped everything and went to see Mommie. She was sedated on morphine, every so often it seemed like her chest would ‘jump’ as if struggling to breathe, her eyes were closed, but they told me she could hear me. I told her “I love you, Mommie. Dad, Mom, Jared, and I love you. David, my fiance loves you.” There were other people in the room, so I just held her hand and thought the other things I wanted to tell her, hoping she could feel them telepathically. As I talked to her and said my silent prayers, holding her hand, she squeezed mine a little bit once or twice. David and I also visited with my aunts in the room about family things to kind of ease the tension a little bit. Mom texted me this morning and told me, Mommie had passed away this morning. Mom and my aunt seem to think, maybe she was holding on for me. maybe she was. I don’t know.
After I found out about her death though, I was inspired to write something up; I may share it at the funeral, I may not. I will try, but I may breakdown half-way through it. Only one way to know for sure: Do it in fear. Fortitude! Only for you, Mommie. Love you.
We are here to remember the life of Ruby “Mommie” Cormier; Sister, Mother, Grandmother, great-grandmother, friend, and child of God. We are also here to remember the love we all shared for her and the fond memories we shared with her: those good memories are what will get us through this tough period as we say our final goodbyes to her Earthly form, but it is only a temporary goodbye; we all hope and pray to see her again when we leave this Earthly life.
My earliest memories of Mommie was about 2 or 3 years old, going almost every weekend when they lived in Lewisburg, Louisiana; she always had a Sippy cup of coffee milk waiting for me, and when Poppee would call me the pet name “Sack of Shit,” (which question, how is that a pet name; but go figure with those Cormiers) Mommie would always argue, “No poppee, she is a sack of sugar.”
I remember her and my nanny (Martha) accompanying us a few times to Shreveport when I was at Shriners Hospital for dr. appointments. When she moved to the apartments in Lafayette, I remember walking with her to the mailbox and along the way, she would “show me off,” to her neighbors and be all “This is my youngest granddaughter. She’s my baby.” She would brag to anyone who would listen about that time when I was just an infant, “I couldn’t hold my bottle with my arms, so I held them with my feet.” As I got older, I got so “sick” of hearing that story and a little embarrassed when she would tell it to my friends, but I also knew that she was proud of me and had a deep love for me.
Mommie enjoyed many things: going to church, going to a rosary, doing bingo, going to the casino- for her 80th birthday, Mom even made her a cake that looked like a slot machine! She also loved her coffee and beignets. She sure enjoyed when we would take her to coffee depot in Scott, Louisiana for beignets and coffee; That was one of her “elements,” Coffee, beignets, and socializing with family and the waitresses at the restaurant who happened to know the family.
In 2012, when in St. Louis for Halo Traction, she came to spend a week with me. The first night she got turned around and I ended up having to walk her downstairs, to the parent housing side of the hospital. The whole walk she kept apologizing, but I was all “Mommie, it’s okay. The hospital is pretty confusing. I just learned it because I been here for almost 3 months.”
During 2016, when Trump was running election, which she was all “go trump,” and don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-Trump, I may not agree with everything he does but he is human, but anyway, we were talking and she must’ve just remembered Poppee’s last few good years because I heard stories in his younger days, he wasn’t that great of a person, but Mommee was all “If Poppee was still alive, he’d make a good president.” I swear, I nearly choked on my drink and did a spit-take when she said that. I think that was my first clue that she was starting to get dementia a little bit. But it was kind of good that she only remembered the good side of him too. She didn’t hold onto anger and hurt from the bad years. Or maybe she just forgave him, I don’t know. If it was just her forgiveness of all the hurt he had caused her in the past, then that is proof of the good person she was and I am almost definite she got her angel wings.
She also took in others besides her family; she took in Mom’s family- we often took her to family get-togethers at Moms family- she loved all the little kids and would love on them. She took in my friends as if her own grandkids and when they called her, “Mrs. Cormier,” she would correct them “No, it’s Mommie.” She would sit and have coffee with neighbors at her apartment complex, even those that had slight mental disabilities (one guy in particular, which I cannot remember his name at the moment.) She was also a huge animal lover, as proof of her playing with my dogs when she would come to visit, and she loved her cat, Socks; until Mommie had to go into the nursing home and we had to re-home Socks. She even took in my (now ex-boyfriend) when we were dating, and she even accepted my now-fiance’ David, who she loved to give lots of kisses on the cheek to, and he loved them back. She was a very sweet, loving lady, but boy if you got on her “shit list,” look out, she stood her ground. I guess that’s where I got that from! HAHA!
She was just an overall loving person and genuinely very happy until dementia started in and it affected her mood and perspective at times, but before dementia, she was a great model of what we should strive to live our lives as.
Sure, I had plans for her to be at future events: when I got married, got my bachelors/masters/ or whatever other college degrees, see me start my own career and chase my dreams, possibly see me have a family of my own; but sadly, life is never promised to pan out how we want, and sure, I will miss her being in attendance physically at these major events, but she will always be there in spirit and in my heart.
Bright side is I now have another angel, looking out for me. Love you, Mommie.
Symbol of love,
Like pieces of a puzzle.
Community, people, socialization
Family, friends, significant others,
Neighbors, simple strangers on the street.
People equal love and happiness,
Loneliness equals sadness, depression,
No heart equals no love,
Overwhelming dark black hole,
Sucking away any chance of happiness.