Passion for cooking: today’s meals

We had nothing left in the fridge and around noon I started to get hungry. I quickly seasoned up some chicken breasts and cut them into bite size pieces, put some oil in the skillet and grilled/sauteed some chicken despite already having planned a meal for supper with chicken- Baked Chicken Parmesan. Oh well. David didn’t complain and both meals came out good. I’ll probably defrost some ground meat to make tacos Tuesday night. 

Now, my joints ache and everything hurts, not just from being on my feet cooking, but also we have some rain predicted for later and that affects my body as well.  Just another average day in my life. 

one of those days…Update on A/c Leak.

Maintenance came out to fix the A/c issue, but the water soaked some of the bedroom carpets and even into the closet on David’s side. The maintenance people had us move stuff out of David’s side of the closet, and are gonna blow-dry the carpet and spray some type of chemical to prevent molding. 

I don’t know what God is trying to tell us/teach us, but, I could’ve really done without the moving stuff around workout today when I was already hurting, but oh well, That is life. It isn’t always as we expect/plan. 

I hope and pray that they are able to fix it to the point of no molding, and we are able to get our deposit back when we move out of the apartments. 

Chocolate Cake for Breakfast and Chronic Pain

Just ate #ChocolateCake for #Breakfast. Now I feel sick. Sugar distracts my #ChronicPain so I can go longer without #PainMeds but its not healthy and I have a risk for #Diabetes since my #Grandmother had it. Hopefully I don’t develop it before I have back surgery to fix my rods and my #ChronicPain.

I am tired of living a life of decisions; pain meds or risking diabetes, Fun and going out or cabin fever and bed but no pain, etc. It isn’t much of a life. Soon, Jamie, Soon!

another sleepless night; chronic pain and tears.

A bad storm passed through Louisiana this week so it has been quite a bit of sleepless nights for me lately and then add in the dreaded once a month bullshit us females have to deal with, adding in stress, anxiety, hormones, emotional roller coaster, all that (sarcastic tone) “fun.” Tonight, I tossed and turned for 2 hours while my fiance’ just lays next to me snoring; sure, I could wake him up and make him suffer with me, but that is selfish plus he works to provide for us, so I guess he needs the sleep more than I do, but it sure would be nice to be able to talk these things out instead of blogging them.

I have a mattress that can elevate the head, it helps with migraines and sometimes my upper back (then I gotta deal with my lower back and hips hurting), but tonight my upper back is hurting and I am not even gonna use the head-elevation because lately it has been making my fiance’ back hurt in the morning; which sent me down the dreaded “rabbit hole” of the uncertainty of a future together: What if I become bed-ridden, what if he has to help me with everything more than he does now? That isn’t what he signed on for! It isn’t fair to him. I know he made a commitment to me and he constantly reminds me of it anytime I start crying and freaking out about how much pain I am in and the fears that sends into me about how uncertain my life and future are; I just don’t want him to have regrets or resentments. I love him, I really do, but when these fears kick in, I go into flight mode and tend to push him away, thinking I am saving him from being stuck in a sucky future with me and my damn disability. How can I expect him to accept it and what it does to me, if I cant even accept it completely myself?

If there was a pill created to make me “normal,” like everyone else in society, I would take it! Even though I also feel like having my disability has made me a well-rounded, wise, empathetic, compassionate, supportive, loyal, passionate person. Does it make me a bad person? Why is it I can be a support system and cheerleader for others with disabilities but yet I cant even accept myself completely? Does it make me a hypocrite? Maybe its just the pain talking; well the pain and the damn devil. I need to really work on myself and loving myself for me; whole-y and completely. Maybe after my surgery to fix my rods, maybe my pain will be better, and I can start being happy again. One can only hope.

Beauty with a disability

On June 1, 2019, my cousin was getting married and it took 2 goodwill shops to find a silver sparkly dress that worked for me. It was flow-y and not “fitted” or tight; it looked great on me.
The next thing to do was hair and makeup. It took me over an hour to get that done so I did it early because after doing all that, I tend to deplete my energy levels.

I will post a Youtube video later on when I am done editing.

Fun last night; Sore today

The wedding for my cousin was so much fun. The ceremony was beautiful. The bride was gorgeous. The celebrant(priest) cracked some jokes and made the audience chuckle. The reception was great with awesome food, great music, a beautiful cake, lots of fun and dancing, a cute cardboard cutout to take photos in, a fun and creative “send off for the bride and groom,” and of course an open bar! All the makings of a great Louisiana Cajun wedding.

For me, even though it wasn’t my wedding, I still had a great night. 1.) I wasn’t hurting for once, 2.) My stomach cooperated which is very unusual for social events, 3.) I got to see my godson and his family, and 4.) I danced and sang almost the entire night! I danced with my younger cousins, older cousins, strangers (to me- they were probably family or friends of the bride or friends of the groom), Mom, and my wonderful fiance’ David danced with me a few times for slow dances and one fast song, “Brown eyed girl,” (which is usually me and mom’s song, but Mom was nowhere to be found when it came on, so I had a substitute. LOL)

However, today, I am paying for all that cutting up and fun, as I am sore to the max! I slept till noon, soaks in the tub didn’t help, had to give in and take my pain meds.
I can’t wait till after surgery when I can have fun and not be so sore the next day. I missed having fun like that!