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Beignet: The sweetest Rescue pup in all of Louisiana

For those of you who may not be aware, I adopted a rescued dog from Acadiana Animal Aid. The papers claimed she was “beagle mix,” but people in public suggested “German shepherd, American Foxhound, a bit of Rottweiler, Tree Walking Coon,” as well as others have said she does look somewhat like a beagle. She was originally from St John the Baptist Parish Animal shelter, (an employee there gave her the name “Beignet,” and being from Louisiana and how sweet her personality is, I kept it because it fits her well.) However, when Louisiana went through that bad flood back in Aug. 2016, she was one of the rescues that were brought to Lafayette area by a no-kill shelter; Acadiana Animal Aid in Carencro.
I adopted her on August 25th, 2016 ( a few mere months – May 1, 2016, after losing my last dog- a beagle Mya-Bella, 4 days before my birthday- she got out and hit on the road and I was devastated.) I had told my parents that I wanted a new dog as a Christmas present, but when I saw Beignet on the shelter website, I instantly fell in love.
Fast-forward 4 years later and I still love her as if I have just gotten her. She is one of, if not the best, best dogs I ever owned. She has so much personality and makes me laugh. She loves to play(something my last dog didn’t do); she isn’t much of a snuggler except when it’s nasty outside- cold, wet/rainy, or if I am not feeling well- (its almost as if she has a sixth sense and can sense when I am hurting with my disabilities pains). She follows me everywhere like my shadow. She loves to go everywhere with me like my little sidekick. She is loyal and protective; Whenever I am roughhousing or play fighting with my family or my fiance- she will bark at them and sometimes she will get between us, trying to block them from me,) Whereas she barks nonstop at people walking in our yard/mail people or if we are in public and people are walking near our vehicle: On occasion when walking her in public places, she will growl at strangers protectively and I have to correct her, it is okay to be protective but she cannot be aggressive if she will be with me in public- as I am trying to get her trained to by my service dog.

Tonight, it is a brutally cold, wet night, and she must sense it because she climbed up next to the couch with me and had her head on my lap: as usual, I start scratching her behind her ears, but this time she sits up and leaned her head into my arm as I scratch her ears, and then leans her head against my shoulder/down onto my chest area. it was the most cutest thing ever!!! I love her so much and she makes me so happy.
when I am depressed or sad, nothing can perk me up more than just snuggling my best fur friend or playing a nice game of fetch with her.

Her name fits her well, she is as sweet as a Louisiana beignet with tons of powdered sugar. ❤

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another sleepless night; chronic pain and tears.

A bad storm passed through Louisiana this week so it has been quite a bit of sleepless nights for me lately and then add in the dreaded once a month bullshit us females have to deal with, adding in stress, anxiety, hormones, emotional roller coaster, all that (sarcastic tone) “fun.” Tonight, I tossed and turned for 2 hours while my fiance’ just lays next to me snoring; sure, I could wake him up and make him suffer with me, but that is selfish plus he works to provide for us, so I guess he needs the sleep more than I do, but it sure would be nice to be able to talk these things out instead of blogging them.

I have a mattress that can elevate the head, it helps with migraines and sometimes my upper back (then I gotta deal with my lower back and hips hurting), but tonight my upper back is hurting and I am not even gonna use the head-elevation because lately it has been making my fiance’ back hurt in the morning; which sent me down the dreaded “rabbit hole” of the uncertainty of a future together: What if I become bed-ridden, what if he has to help me with everything more than he does now? That isn’t what he signed on for! It isn’t fair to him. I know he made a commitment to me and he constantly reminds me of it anytime I start crying and freaking out about how much pain I am in and the fears that sends into me about how uncertain my life and future are; I just don’t want him to have regrets or resentments. I love him, I really do, but when these fears kick in, I go into flight mode and tend to push him away, thinking I am saving him from being stuck in a sucky future with me and my damn disability. How can I expect him to accept it and what it does to me, if I cant even accept it completely myself?

If there was a pill created to make me “normal,” like everyone else in society, I would take it! Even though I also feel like having my disability has made me a well-rounded, wise, empathetic, compassionate, supportive, loyal, passionate person. Does it make me a bad person? Why is it I can be a support system and cheerleader for others with disabilities but yet I cant even accept myself completely? Does it make me a hypocrite? Maybe its just the pain talking; well the pain and the damn devil. I need to really work on myself and loving myself for me; whole-y and completely. Maybe after my surgery to fix my rods, maybe my pain will be better, and I can start being happy again. One can only hope.