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disability journey: Broken rods – facing my parents and such…

 As we are aware, I had re-broke my spinal fusion rods and was dreading facing my parents about it. This weekend, my parents came in off the truck. As soon as they saw me, Dad asked “what happened to your forehead” because that was the first thing he noticed. “Well, you see, there was a incident in the backyard on the steps. I fell…and re-broke my rods.” They didn’t look happy, but didn’t say anything, later they mellowed out and we joked about it. Then I gave them some candy bars I had bought at the store on Thursday after the incident, before they came in, with the joke to David, “I’ll get their favorite candy bars so when I deliver the bad news about my rods, it will be less of a blow…Like…’look, I got yall favorite candy, oh by the way, my rods are re-broke. Oh just eat your candy bars before you reply.” hahaha. To which I recounted that story to them and they laughed. I am so lucky to have understanding and supportive parents with good senses of humor. πŸ™‚ #Blessed. 

I also sent the Xrays to Dr. Kelly on friday through “snail mail” with post office saying it should be delivered/recieved on monday. So I will call monday to tell his office and hopefully by tuesday or wed, I will have some news on what Dr. Kelly had to say. I also hope I hear from the genetics doctor soon as well. 

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Disability Journey: Broken rods again..What does it mean?

As we know, my rods are broken once again, but until Dr. Kelly receives my Xrays from OGH and I hear back from him and go to my appointment in Septemeber, we do not know what will happen. Will I have another surgery? More than likely- I mean my rods can’t stay broken. What does that mean?  Well, more than likely it means another surgery, recovery all over again, push back college again, postpone the wedding again, having to raise money or apply for hardship case again since St Louis Barnes Jewish doesn’t take out of state Medicaid, and the talks of David and I starting a Food truck business will also be put on the backburner. 

I am tired of the rods breaking; this is the 2nd time! Maybe I should just put myself in a plastic bubble or “ground myself” permanently into a wheelchair and say “Fuck walking” – maybe I won’t injure myself, since I can’t seem to not be a klutz. I don’t know what the answer is. 

I am just dreading it. Dreading facing my parents about it, dreading facing doctor kelly about it, I know accidents happen, but I feel like I am a disappointment and let everyone down even though I did everything right this time: I didn’t get on inflatables again (I learned my lesson from last time), I was cautious when picking up on my niece or stuff, I was cautious and didn’t bend- instead I squatted or got on my hands and knees,) and yet, I still broke my rods. I wonder if my Ehlers Danlos has something to do with it? Hmm. Guess that’s a question for when I do see that EDS genetics doctor. 

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Disability/Scoliosis/EDS Journey: Ended up in ER

 8/12/2020

So earlier today, I had my appointment with my GP who agreed to refer me to an EDS geneticist that I had found in New Orleans- Great news, right? Right. 

later that evening, I was outside helping my fiance’ do some yard work around the backyard and he asked me to go get him some bottled water; should be a simple task, right? Wrong. It ended in me having to go to the ER. 

I went into the house, got the bottle waters(1 for him, 1 for me), and started back out the backdoor: Now our backyard door has a drop about 1-2 ft and then the first step. I don’t know if I missed the step or if my ankles/legs decided to give out; it all happened so fast- All I know is next thing I know, I am losing my balance and falling forward and landing face-first onto the concrete sidewalk. 

Landing forward, should spare my rods right? Hmm. well, I’ll get to that…

When I fell, I hit my legs and knees and felt like I couldn’t stand right away, I busted my head on the concrete and had a big gash and later a knot, scraped up my right wrist, and had landed on my left ring finger that had started to already swell. 

I waited for a little while to see if the headache would subside and I’d feel better. No luck. So we went to the ER. They did a CT Scan (to look at my head to make sure no damage) and a Xray(to look at my rods and back). 

The Drs said the finger wasn’t broken; it was a busted blood vessel and ice and rest should bring down the swelling. The CT revealed no signs of any damage or concussions. However, the Xrays were not as lucky: My rods that I just had fixed almost a year ago, from being broken previously, were broke once again! Now the rods could’ve been broken before this incident- After all, I was still taking pain medication on and off as needed and I had an experience months ago while still in the apartment where i had stood up and it felt like a popping shockwave down my back. The timing just really sucks, so now I have to call Dr. Kelly and tell him the bad news about my rods. I feel like I let everyone down again, but I did everything I was supposed to- I wasn’t straining, I wasn’t bending, I was being cautious,, I didn’t get on inflatables this time and I still end up with broken rods. I wonder if my EDS could be a contributing factor to the rods continually breaking? I suggested it to one of my fellow Scoliosis friends who is in a scoliosis group and said there was a girl who kept breaking her rods and getting infections and was later diagnosed as EDS and ended up having her rods removed, so it could be a contributing factor. Hmmm….I don’t know. Seems like I try to do everything right and then something still f** it up and I am back to being a disappointment. UGh. I hate these voices in my head and feeling like I am mentally unstable. Will things ever get easier?Β 

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disability Journey: Thought of the day- Medications and side effects…

 thought of the day…8/10/2020

like for real why do medications cause side effects? Like pain meds help with pain but in the same token, you might end up adding in depression, anxiety, mood swings, agitation,etc. (to which I already have some.)

so it’s like okay..do I wanna deal with pain and possibly just cry to the point of wanting suicide…or do I take the pain medication and stop the pain, but end up depressed or miserable and still wanting suicide for a different reason other than pain- because of emotional impulses and acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum? hmmm.

oh and then lets not forget when I am on pain meds but not sleeping, I tend to “go down the rabbit hole” and spiral emotionally- like right now, I am convinced I have Borderline Personality Disorder.

guess the saying is true, “Idle time is the devil’s playground.”

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youtube video: Cover “Unbreakable”-Ali Mcmanus

In the video, I was in the car jamming to my new “theme song” Unbreakable by my good friend, Ali Mcmanus. -video July 17.

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Putting my tiktoks on youtube

just in case we lose the app because of Trumps talks of banning the app. (I really hope Microsoft is able to buy it.) I love some of the videos I made. 

Tiktok is one of the few things that I can do to entertain myself on a pain day. I really hope it doesn’t go away. 

anyway, here is the video .Β 

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EDS Journey: found a possible doctor??!

so here is the latest development in my EDS journey: I am in several Ehlers Danlos groups on Facebook. And they gave me a few names of geneticists who are listed as pediatrics but also do see adult patients with EDS. So I called the one that was named multiple times to confirm that they still do this and they do and also take Medicaid. So I will give their name to my GP on wed. when I go for a medical checkup so they can refer me. #Amen#GodBless❀ might finally be getting answers .

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EDS Journey: trying to find a genetics dr- Epic fail

Life of someone with EDS/ Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: I have had it all my life, but don’t know the type. I was trying to find a geneticist that accepts Medicaid because I am having more and more joint pain(if it’s not my scoliosis, its joints), and the only way to truly find alternatives and answers besides Pain medications would be knowing the type I have. so I called Medicaid, but they say all that’s in their system is Pediatrics.

God, please send me a sign and some type of help. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™ #RareDisabilities #EDS #EhlersDanlos #Louisiana #Medicaid #MedicalSystem #Disabled #Disability

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One Mountain conquered, but life dealt me another summit to excavate.. *Latest Update*

People often say “The world is a rainbow of different communities spreading love and good, frolocking with others. There are the ones who are the pessimistis who see their world as a never ending burden of turmoil and misery, and then the type that are the “fakers”- The ones who walk around all jolly and happy and wearing a complete “mask” in public. That is me.

I guess you are probably wondering “what is this going on about? The title says ‘One Mountain conquered, but life dealt me another summit to excavate.” What I mean by this is, I had my surgery to fix the broken rods and it was a major success, however during that surgery another issue was discovered; an infection in my rods.

Below are my newest X-rays.

To combat this infection issue, a pic-line was placed in my left arm while I was at Barnes Jewish Hospital in St Louis, Missouri, and put on antibiotics via IV infusions for 6 weeks and then will be switched to an antibiotic pill indefinitely until the doctor sees fit to get me off said antibiotics.

A week after my surgery, on Aug. 21, I was discharged from the hospital to go back to my home in Louisiana so that Medicaid would cover my IV antibiotics; if not, We would’ve had to pay out of pocket for the treatments and it was $120 a treatment (6 weeks of treatments, 2 x a day- so $120 a treatment x2 times a day x7 days x 6 weeks = $10080, and then if we stayed in s Louis but not at the hospital (haven house)= $50 a night x 6 weeks at least = $2100..yeah, I think we made the better decision by coming home…LOL)

Now 2 weeks and 4 days post-op, I awoke to my IV tape rolled up, the pic line area exposed (I am thinking that I was scratching in my sleep). When my fiance went to clean it up and re-tape it, he noticed that the pic line was out more than the doctors like, so we rushed to our local E.R., Lady of Lourdes Hospital. Once there, they were swift about getting me to the back; a nurse, however,Β decided to remove my pic line from my left arm (which was covered in red splotches due to allergic reaction to the tape) instead of leaving it for the specialist to push it back in. Hours later, the specialist showed up and had to re- stick me for a new pic line in my right arm now, when she said that had the nurse previously not removed it, they could’ve just pushed my other one back in. Now I am back home and my right arm is sore and throbbing because the lidocaine sedative is wearing off and my muscles are aching.

Oh well, I did what I needed to do and I will “grin and bear” this burden I have to deal with for 6 weeks until I can switch to my pill version of antibiotics. I cannot wait for this darn pic line to be out of my arm, but all good things come to those who wait. I will pray for God to grant me patience to deal with it.