“Who is Jamie?” Poem

All my life, I would like to say,

I was a “normal” child

Could run and do all the activities like the others,

In p.e.

But that would be a lie.

Sure, I went to P.E., with my fellow peers,

But that was only two days a week.

                Rest of the time, I was segregated,

To a “special” Adapted P.E.

                Don’t get me wrong, I loved the adapted P.E.,

But when you already know you are different than your friends,

You don’t want,

Another sign or “special treatment”,

That proves it.

                You long to be “normal,” but no;

Sit on the sidelines, walk the track…

While the other kids run and tackle,

Coaches and teaches,

 Fearing you bruising and the possibility of parents suing.

“Can’t do this, Can’t do that, oh be careful! Don’t hurt yourself!”

Why are these warnings only given to me?

Why not Jared, Josh, or Malorie?

                Even now, as an adult,

I still let people,

Who I trust, and think know better than I,

Make decisions for my life.

                I lie, and say it’s just for advice,

Because if they knew the truth,

They’d just say something along the lines,

“Stay true to you.”

                How can I do that?

When All my life,

I have had others,

Telling me what to do,

Never letting me,

Test the waters or learn from mistakes,

Okay, there were mistakes I could still learn,

But really, how can it be, me An Adult?

 When I have no strong standing,

Or sense of self.

but, in all honesty,

Who is Jamie? 

Happy Birthday, Dad! Youtube Video- May 2019

To My dad: For some fun times and those rare occasions when we don’t fight. You gave me my personality, blonde hair, sense of humor, and my ability to live as independently as possible; thanks for pushing me, despite having a disability.  Thanks for everything Dad. I love you.

I know I give my dad a lot of grief, but he has actually taught me some pretty cool skills. As a child, he would take me outside, and I’d watch him do wood-working things with the hammer, saw, etc. HE even let me work the saw sometimes! I practically grew up going to Lowe’s or JB Sandoz Hardware store, quite often! Another thing I remember doing often was when he’d be “on call” for work, and he’d take me with him; at his office there was this “magic dry erase board,” that would print whatever was written on it, and it could move to a different/clean board; I just was so fascinated by that board! We also went to Waffle House quite often for breakfasts and went eat at Deano’s Pizza a lot too; I still joke with mom, “We can’t go to Deano’s without Dad; that’s blasphemy!”

Another thing I remember doing with dad was the first time that he took me “crabbing”. Crabbing is where you go catch crabs, and no I don’t mean the STD; I mean, Crabs, the seafood.  We had to leave really early in the morning, so just like for Shriners trips, I would pack a bag the night before, and just change in the backseat. I remember we had ham sandwich supplies to eat lunch, and the darn seagulls were chasing me for my sandwich; finally, I just threw the sandwich and let them have it. I had so much fun, 10 years old, running on the docks to check the crab traps; getting all excited and jumping up and down, “DAD, There’re some crabs in this one!”

Another favorite memory with dad was when we’d go to go kart places; like the Kart Ranch in Lafayette. We’d ride go-karts, Dad always had me ride with him because we are both super competitive; I could trash talk the other people while he drove super-fast, making the hair blow in my face. While there, we also would do mini-golf and I always got a pink golf ball.

The funniest memory was when we were at my Aunt Sandra’s house in the country, somewhere in Texas. We went 4-wheeler riding and went fishing. I don’t mind the fishing, as long as I don’t have to touch them and they don’t flop around near me. I was scared of fish, for Pete’s sake! (What wasn’t I scared of as a kid?!)  Anyway, Dad had caught a fish, and it was on the back of the 4-wheeler and I was sitting on the 4-wheeler; the fish starts flopping closer to me, I scream! It’s funny now, but I was scared to death when it happened. Another memory was when we were riding 4-wheelers (ATV); Dad kept jumping the hills on them, and he lost his glasses in the fields after he had jumped one of the hills. I liked riding the 4wheelers: The wind in my hair, the thrill of jumping the hills; although the landing afterward, made my stomach jump into my throat!

Yes, Dad and I have a…Complicated relationship, but when we get along, it’s golden. I love him, even if he does work my nerves, and I do treasure these memories and things he’s done with me. I will never forget them because they are always in my heart, and I ask for some repeats now and again, like crabbing, which we should be going do again real soon; yay!  

Two youtube videos dedicated to Mom on Mother’s Day-May 2019

Love you Mom, happy Mothers Day!

Update- March 2019

I legit have the best mom, hands down. She gave up some of the time she could be doing stuff for Heather’s baby shower to calm my anxieties and took me to wound care. Good news, it’s not an infection, it’s just a little red and that is “common when healing,” and I just need to “try to keep it covered as much as possible to keep infections out.”
She then asked if I had anything to eat at my apartment, which I did, but I told her “yes, but I am so tired of leftovers.”

Her: “Well, what are you hungry for? Sonic? Burger King? McDonald’s? Taco Bell?”
Me: “Taco Bell”
Her (continues listing, which was a mistake): Chick Fil A
Me: Oh my goodness, yes! My weakness! Chick Fil A!
Her: oh my! What about your stomach?
me: I am hurting in my back which means I don’t give a flying flip about my stomach’s issues. when I hurt, I eat junk. its my comfort.

her: Okay.
(so yes, she got me Chick Fil A nugget meal).

Then we went to Target, she needed some things for Heather’s baby shower, but didn’t find anything of what she wanted.
Her: Need anything before we leave?

Me: Well, I’d like some snacks so I am not stuck eating creamy peanut butter out of the jar till my food stamps come in.

Her: Like what?
Me: Just some popcorn, a thing of chips, some real coke cola and not the no-name brand cheapo one me and David been getting at Fred’s, some fruit roll ups, and some type of cookies.

Her: okay. I’ll get that for you.

So I legit have the best Mom in the world! and a great Dad who works hard to pay for it 😛 ❤ #Blessed

anyway, I am home now, and going try to rest despite my back aching.