My Biggest Fear poem

What is my biggest fear? 

One simple word, 

pplease don’t snear, 

or laugh, 

but, “future” is my biggest fear. 

you may laugh, 

or question “why,” 

but to understand, 

you’d have to walk,

with me, down a twisting, rocky unpaved road.

This “road”, my life, 

is surrounded by a moat of uncertanty. 

A life, 

with a physical deformity, 

leaving the affected, 

to often wonder,

or worry, 

what will the future,

of my life hold for me?

A job? 

who would hire,

despite my medical needs, 

and the expenses of an aid or someone to help me.

Will I marry? 

Or have Children? 

If I do, will my children, too,

have a disability? fear of my future,

my biggest enemy.  

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A writer’s mind Poem

It starts with just one sentence, 

just a few words,

on a piece of paper, 

to jump start that engine; 

your imagination, 

the machine of your creativity. 

One sentence, 

soon become, 

something of a masterpiece, 

and Awe. 

A story, a poem, or more, 

a script for a tv show, or 

maybe even a film! 

A pen to paper, 

words on the page, 

once you start, 

it’s beautiful, 

like a baby bird, 

taking its first flight!

For the whole world to bear witness, 

to the inspiring beauty, 

of the imagination Station; 

The creative genius, 

the writer’s mind. 

When you constantly ache Poem

Bomp! Bomp! Bomp! 

Alarm clock blaring its cruel tune. 

Time to wake up, 

you ache all over, 

but still have to face the day’s gloom. 

Yawn and stretch, 

rub sleep from your eyes, 

have to get up, 

greet the day, and

seize your “prize”. 

Another Ache this morning, 

story of your life, 

whether it be back, neck, or head, 

its all the same; 

Pop a pain killer or two or three, 

sometimes you think about Overdosing, 

and ending your misery. 

You decide against it, 

not wanting to hurt, 

those you love dearly, 

by taking your life, 

and making them all teary. 

All you want is the pain to disappear, 

meet its eternal doom, 

and never return. 

When you ache every day, 

life gets hard,

to be happy and thankful, 

sometimes it makes you even turn away from the Lord. 

Don’t forget, 

you are special. 

yes, it’s hard, 

but you are a fighter, 

and so very strong; 

you will be the champion, 

that God had envisioned for you, 

all along. 

“who is Jamie” Poem 2

All my life,

I’ve sat on sidelines,

sitting and watching,

letting life pass by.

“you can’t do this,”

“oh, be careful!”

“don’t hurt yourself!”

I always let people,

who I thought,

were only protecting me,

and knew better than I,

decide what was right,

and what was wrong.

So now,

as an adult,

I have no true standing,

not sure if things are,

good, safe, or Okay,

scared of messing up,

and looking like a fool.

Once again,

still on the sidelines,

letting everyone else, including my fears,

live and control my life.

How can it be?

Me, an adult? when so many didn’t let me,

didn’t give me space,

to learn and breathe,

make mistakes,

to figure out

Who is Jamie?

“Inner Struggles” Poem

Look into my eyes, 

can you see my soul? 

the dream I hold inside;

Longing to be accepted,

for everything I am,

All I Believe and hold dear,

and no longer have this burder,

the side of me that I hide, 

Longing for release and freedom, 

and my dreams to take flight. 

The girl longing to break free, 

this curse,

feelings of not good enough,

inadequacy, and self-consciousness,

scared and shy, 

to take the stage, 

and follow her heart. 

Dreams of being able, 

to sing from her heart and soul, 

and to dance with the passion that burns inside, 

To feel beautiful, 

to see her beauty, 

her talents, 

and all that she is,

except in her own eyes, 

To stand there, in the mirror, 

and finally, see her personality, 

the raw beauty inside, 

shine through.

The latest “Twisted Tale” in my journey called life; Surgery coming up fast!!!!

so the latest on my back: I saw dr. Kelly today. He is very optimistic. His plan is if my rods aren’t infected (we did labs), he says he will just open the incision scar where my rods are broken at, clean up my wound, and add in some “dominoes” and add in some extender rods.” It will be “Simple and sweet,” as he put it. 

:p The date is the same, August 14, but I need to be here by the 12th because I need to go to get my central line valve put in on the 13th. If he does what he wants, “simple and sweet,” he doesn’t think I will have as many complications like I did last time bc last time I had broken ribs and pneumonia from that which led to trach, blah blah blah…the framework already there, this is just some maintenance repair! LMAO. 
But whatever God’s will, will be done. 

Share my go fund me please!!! https://www.gofundme.com/jamie-has-broken-rods-and-other-problems-occurring