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New youtube Video- Facebook Live video

I did a Facebook live at 4 this morning, having not had much sleep due to massive pain and spasms from the cold, wet weather here in Louisiana.

It is very random and silly, I was sleep-deprived (I did have a few hours, not many), on pain meds and melatonin that had the opposite result of what they normally do- normally knock me on my ass and make me sleep but no luck this time.

It is rather hard to sleep through what feels like every muscle in your back/spine tightening, twisting, pinching, jumping, and twitching. It feels very weird and can also make the nerves in your insides itch a lot!

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Beignet: The sweetest Rescue pup in all of Louisiana

For those of you who may not be aware, I adopted a rescued dog from Acadiana Animal Aid. The papers claimed she was “beagle mix,” but people in public suggested “German shepherd, American Foxhound, a bit of Rottweiler, Tree Walking Coon,” as well as others have said she does look somewhat like a beagle. She was originally from St John the Baptist Parish Animal shelter, (an employee there gave her the name “Beignet,” and being from Louisiana and how sweet her personality is, I kept it because it fits her well.) However, when Louisiana went through that bad flood back in Aug. 2016, she was one of the rescues that were brought to Lafayette area by a no-kill shelter; Acadiana Animal Aid in Carencro.
I adopted her on August 25th, 2016 ( a few mere months – May 1, 2016, after losing my last dog- a beagle Mya-Bella, 4 days before my birthday- she got out and hit on the road and I was devastated.) I had told my parents that I wanted a new dog as a Christmas present, but when I saw Beignet on the shelter website, I instantly fell in love.
Fast-forward 4 years later and I still love her as if I have just gotten her. She is one of, if not the best, best dogs I ever owned. She has so much personality and makes me laugh. She loves to play(something my last dog didn’t do); she isn’t much of a snuggler except when it’s nasty outside- cold, wet/rainy, or if I am not feeling well- (its almost as if she has a sixth sense and can sense when I am hurting with my disabilities pains). She follows me everywhere like my shadow. She loves to go everywhere with me like my little sidekick. She is loyal and protective; Whenever I am roughhousing or play fighting with my family or my fiance- she will bark at them and sometimes she will get between us, trying to block them from me,) Whereas she barks nonstop at people walking in our yard/mail people or if we are in public and people are walking near our vehicle: On occasion when walking her in public places, she will growl at strangers protectively and I have to correct her, it is okay to be protective but she cannot be aggressive if she will be with me in public- as I am trying to get her trained to by my service dog.

Tonight, it is a brutally cold, wet night, and she must sense it because she climbed up next to the couch with me and had her head on my lap: as usual, I start scratching her behind her ears, but this time she sits up and leaned her head into my arm as I scratch her ears, and then leans her head against my shoulder/down onto my chest area. it was the most cutest thing ever!!! I love her so much and she makes me so happy.
when I am depressed or sad, nothing can perk me up more than just snuggling my best fur friend or playing a nice game of fetch with her.

Her name fits her well, she is as sweet as a Louisiana beignet with tons of powdered sugar. ❤

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anxiety, tears, adorable kids, and pizza; My “Today”

Today was not great of a day except for one little event during the middle of the day. I had gotten a ticket from Build-a-bear for the “Pay your age,” event and was able to take my “future nieces” (older one being 9 years old and the baby, 9 months.) However, earlier that day was not great. 

It started by my 9-year-old “future niece,” going to get the mail at my apartment mailbox; I got a letter from St Louis billing department saying that I was “denied,” hardship assistance and didn’t meet the national poverty requirement (how is not having health insurance besides Louisiana Medicaid, and only living on SSI and food stamps, not poverty?) – side note: called and talked to someone and got it straightened out, after I had already had my anxiety panic attack because “I need this surgery but I don’t wanna go into debt and cause my family and friends to go into debt for it.” However, I had to put that anxiety attack away to go enjoy the build-a-bear event with my fiance’, his sister, her husband, and the two children. 

The older sister got a “Siamese looking” cat that she named Melody and their mom picked out an adorable bear and put in a “giggle sound,” that made my 9-month-old “future niece,” smile at; we named the bear Giggles. We probably spent more than we wanted to- because if we’d done just the stuffies with no sounds or accessories, it’d have only been $10, but we got each a sound (Melody had a cat sound and the Giggles had the giggle sound effect) so add in $9 more dollars, and then each got one accessory- the cat got a purse, and I don’t remember what the baby got for hers.) The total was $31 something, so $31-$19= the two accessories costing $12 together so about $5 or $6 each. We covered about $10-15 each. It was worth it. I got to forget my anxiety and play with my “future nieces” especially the cute baby. LOL. I love them both, but adorable babies (when not crying and screaming) seem to make the world go right and make you forget your stress, whereas an older child who may not be able to entertain herself that well, may stress you more.)

After Build-a-bear, we went to eat at Cici’s pizza buffet. It was okay. I watched them feed the baby pieces of brownie and how she made that adorable smile at the taste of the chocolatey goodness, and my 9-year-old “future niece,” wanted me to sit by her. She tells me all the time she loves me, she constantly hugs me and wants my attention. She doesn’t seek that from her uncle; she’s even gone as far as to tell the family, “If DJ and Jamie break up, can we keep Jamie instead?” to which the family always corrects her, “aunty Jamie,” and I’m just thinking “don’t force her to call me something if it doesn’t feel natural to her. she doesn’t call DJ, “Uncle DJ,”  LOL.  

After Cici’s pizza buffet, we departed ways; they were going see a Movie at the theater where my fiance’ brother in law worked at; I think it was only so the 9-year-old wouldn’t beg to stay longer with me and her uncle at the apartment complex, because at the Build-a-bear thing, when we were leaving, she kept saying, “I wish I didn’t have to go home. I wanna stay longer with yall.” Which broke my heart having to be stern and tell her “no,” because she needed to get back and do her Homeschool SchoolWork and plus I didn’t feel that I could entertain her properly: I was still stressing about that letter, in the back of my mind. I told her, we’d try to get her again before I have my surgery in August. 

When I got home, I finally had gotten in touch with someone in billing to discuss the letter about being “denied,” financial assistance. They explained that despite it being out of state Medicaid, they were still going to try to file with them, so currently, my balance showed $0.00. The department explained that if Medicaid denies the claim and if I get another bill, just to call them back and explain how I got another bill, and to reprocess my application for financial assistance. So all that anxiety and worry and my panic attack, were basically for nothing because I am not completely “denied,” just denied if Medicaid accepts the claim. I hate how they word the letters, it makes worry creep in. Mom said it was a lesson I need to learn because if I want a family, I can’t be freaking out like that all the time. She also explained how I am not alone in this “battle,” for my obstacles and stuff with my disabilities, I have family, friends, David, his family, etc. But overall that it is the devil playing with me and doesn’t want me to trust in God my father and savior. I need to tell him, “be gone, Satan. My God, my father, loves me and I am wonderfully made for a purpose. He has led me this far for a reason.” 

I will try to do better to trust in my God and savior, my loving father, my almighty creator. Amen.

Also when I got home, it started raining so of course, my back started hurting, so I took a 3-hour nap on Pain meds. After waking up, my stomach decided to reject the pizza (I am guessing it was the pizza: my abdomen was swollen, I was bloated and cramping so bad that it sent pain into my sides, my sides of my abdomen were sensitive to touch, and the really bad cramps left me short of breath. It is slowly getting relief after Tums and Pepto Bismol and just time.

Sometimes I wish my life was easy, but God never promised an easy life- Thank you, Adam and Eve, for original sin messing everything up; if they wouldn’t have given in to the serpent’s temptations, we’d all be happy and carefree, running around butt- naked in the Garden of Eden and not knowing any pain or difference. No bullying, no stress, no strife. *Sigh* Paradise lost. However, we are not alone, Jesus, God’s only son, had to die on the cross for crimes he didn’t commit. He suffered, why should we be any better than him and not have to suffer? the answer is, we shouldn’t. Anyway, I am rambling now. Goodnight, God Bless, and try to find the silver lining 🙂

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Thinking of Running for President when I am older- March 2019

I originally thought Trump was lesser of two evils, but upon seeing how he’s building that immoral wall, and the latest stunt from “Devil Devos” defending Special Olympics, and Trump ends ACA.  I am convinced that no one will truly give a “crud” about special needs advocacy and their rights until someone who has experienced it, gets into office.

1. I will not hire “rich friends” based on association; I will hire people based on qualifications to get the job done.

2. I will make sure medicaid is accepted through out the country. This not taking medicaid from one state because itsfrom another state BS is gonna end!

3. SSI and Foodstamps for Disabled will be decent enough to live on
4. Assistive programs for those with special needs will be available throughout
5. Private schools will be able to recieve funds federally if they have special needs classes
6. Pedophilia will recieve life sentences. No more of this “they’re reformed, they got good behavior so time off.” BS. We will protect our children

7. Special Training to all police officers in regards to Mental Health, Autism, Special Needs, etc.

All I can think of Right now… #Jamie4President2026

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Update- March 2019

I legit have the best mom, hands down. She gave up some of the time she could be doing stuff for Heather’s baby shower to calm my anxieties and took me to wound care. Good news, it’s not an infection, it’s just a little red and that is “common when healing,” and I just need to “try to keep it covered as much as possible to keep infections out.”
She then asked if I had anything to eat at my apartment, which I did, but I told her “yes, but I am so tired of leftovers.”

Her: “Well, what are you hungry for? Sonic? Burger King? McDonald’s? Taco Bell?”
Me: “Taco Bell”
Her (continues listing, which was a mistake): Chick Fil A
Me: Oh my goodness, yes! My weakness! Chick Fil A!
Her: oh my! What about your stomach?
me: I am hurting in my back which means I don’t give a flying flip about my stomach’s issues. when I hurt, I eat junk. its my comfort.

her: Okay.
(so yes, she got me Chick Fil A nugget meal).

Then we went to Target, she needed some things for Heather’s baby shower, but didn’t find anything of what she wanted.
Her: Need anything before we leave?

Me: Well, I’d like some snacks so I am not stuck eating creamy peanut butter out of the jar till my food stamps come in.

Her: Like what?
Me: Just some popcorn, a thing of chips, some real coke cola and not the no-name brand cheapo one me and David been getting at Fred’s, some fruit roll ups, and some type of cookies.

Her: okay. I’ll get that for you.

So I legit have the best Mom in the world! and a great Dad who works hard to pay for it 😛 ❤ #Blessed

anyway, I am home now, and going try to rest despite my back aching.

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latest update in the winding road that is my life….(January 2019)

 The latest update in the winding road that is my life…. I got a referral to LSU Medical in Shreveport and then also the former care coordinator for the orthopedic surgeon that did my surgery, is trying to get me into the guy that took my surgeon’s position in St Louis, when my orthopedic surgeon moved his practice to NY. Due to neither NY or St Louis takes out of state Medicaid, or Medicaid at all, The only way I can see the Dr. That took my orthopedic’s position in St Louis, is by applying for “hardship assistance.” *Fingers crossed that works.

In other news, my fiance wants to move to St Louis, MO, because he thinks if I am on their Medicaid system, then the ST Louis hospital will have to accept it, plus he is under the impression I’ll get better SSI check (newsflash Hun, the max is $771.00 which I currently already receive.)

I also realized it will be different this recovery time, due to my former physical therapist no longer practicing, I will have to do it through the hospital. UGH!

I also realized I will probably miss my Beignet more than I missed my Mya; If that’s even possible. I love deeply and the thought of once again being away from my own bed, my own apartment, everything familiar and no Beignet to love and snuggle, hurts my heart. I also realized I won’t be in the children’s hospital wing this go-round, so the therapists will probably be tougher, and not as much fun recreational activities to keep my mind off the pain. Well, I guess this is my life punishing me for acting irresponsibly after my first time recovering after surgery. Karma sucks! LOL