colds, flu, Health, illness, medical, News, news media, Panic, Politicians, politics, sickness, Uncategorized, virus, Viruses

my views/opinions on CoronaVirus: STUPID!

The “dreaded” Corona Virus has now reached Louisiana. As of yesterday, there were 33 presumptive positive cases of it. For over a month, it’s been “Corona this, Coronavirus that,” to the point, I want to shoot myself if I hear CoronaVirus one more time. Even worse, now schools are shutting down, events are being canceled, and stores are running out of items- especially water and toilet paper; it is an illness people, not the end of the world- Practice good hygiene and handwashing, stay home if sick, and just sanitize if come in contact with sick people. It is that simple. 

the news media and politics are causing a panic and the sheeple are falling for it. This Coronavirus is just like a really bad virus/cold or flu, yet they stockpiling and shit like its the end of the world, shutting down schools…if you sick, stay home but this is going into borderline craziness. Smh. 

Every time a new sickness comes out..its always panic with politics and news media: Swine flu, Bird flu, West Nile, Mad Cow disease, Ebola, now CoronaVirus. Seriously people just practice good hygiene and if you sick, stay home. Common sense. Don’t be sheeple. Yet, we don’t shut life down for flu or regular viruses and people go in sick all the time and get others sick. It doesn’t make sense. 

disabilities, disabled, Handicaps, Humanity, Kyphosis, Life, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, Uncategorized

Scoliosis Journey: Caution with a disability? No way!!!

As a child with a physical disability/deformity, you would think I would be cautious and careful, right? Wrong. I was always running around, hyper, cutting up, showing off; I didn’t know the risks of my behavior.

In 2nd grade, I had bent down really quick to pick up something off the floor, after a sleepover and instantly I fell to the floor holding my side; I had pulled a muscle. My friend ended up having to go home early and I had to lay with a heating pad on my side for the rest of the day and the next day (I think).

After that incident, you think I would’ve slowed down and been more cautious, right? Wrong again. I was still running around, hyper, cutting up; being a typical child. Mom and I were in the neighborhood one time, I was riding my scooter; we decided to race and when I went to put my foot back on my scooter after pushing it really fast, my shoe lace loop (the loops you tie) got caught on the knob part of my scooter that adjusts its height, and I fell over, scraping my knees; I couldn’t even walk.

Still, did I learn? Nope. There were times I fell just by walking on a handicap ramp after rain in new sneakers because they didn’t have “traction” yet and ended up with a giant bruise on my tailbone, burnt bottom of my foot by walking barefoot in the backyard and stepped on dad’s cigarette butt, splinters in my foot, ants in my pants from sitting in grass near a pile, I been there and probably done it all, but the worst one was in 9th grade when I broke my collar bone. How did I do that, you may ask? Well, let me just begin by saying “Never wear skates in the car.”

I had gone to a skating rink birthday party, and afterwards, I was still in “Skating mode,” where I still wanted to skate, but the rink was closing for the day; Mom let me wear my skates out to the car, so that when I got home, I could skate on the driveway.  When we pulled up in the garage, I went to get out of the car and lost my footing; I grabbed the handle to “catch myself,” and felt a sharp *POP* I instantly let go and fell on my butt on the ground. I screamed and cried because it hurt so bad; I couldn’t even get up on my own to take my skates off. Dad and my brother had to come out and help me; one of them took off and saved my skates while the other took me in and put me in my bed. After going to

the orthopedic dr., I found out I had broken my collar bone; I had to wear this strap thing that looked like a bra for your spine, for like the rest of the school year (March-May); at least, I got out of P.E. (not that I needed an excuse, once I got passed Jr. High, they never really pushed me to participate.)

Yes, with a disability, you want to do everything that other people do, you want to fit in, you want to be “normal,” but you also need to stop and think about the risks, weigh the pros and cons, before you do anything. I’m not saying, live your life in fear of doing activities, all I’m saying is slow down and think, do what I didn’t. Learn from my mistakes.

disabilities, disabled, Girl Scout cookies, Girl Scouts, Handicaps, Humanity, Kyphosis, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, society, Uncategorized

Former Girl Scout: Top Cookie Seller

The Girl Scouts of America promotes character, outdoor activities, good citizenship, and service to others. As a child, I was a girl scout; and one of the top cookie sellers, thank you very much. HAHA! I joined girl scouts when I was in kindergarten. A few weeks into the year, our troop was about to get broken up, because our troop leader was moving or something, so they called a meeting and asked for volunteers to be leader; desperate to keep my friends and me together, I picked my mom’s arm up, and she got stuck being leader. Sorry, Mom for that! I enjoyed girl scouts, it was a fun way to keep up with my friends: we did crafts, went on outings, etc. Since mom was the leader I thought I’d get away with a lot; but, boy was I wrong! If I tried to pull a stunt, like not do an activity, etc., she’d pull me aside and fuss me/correct me. I’m not complaining, I wish she’d have done that more to help me face fears, instead of just doing activities I didn’t want to do due to laziness.

I loved it when it was cookie-selling time; I have always been very competitive and since I don’t have the physical ability to do sports, I do it with stuff like this, or games at the fair/games at Gatti-Land, and now the casino. When it was cookie-selling time, Mom would take the sheet to work, I’d go in the neighborhood, ask family, etc., just like I’d do for school fundraisers; I was very driven to get those prizes! It sure helps when you know almost ¾ of your hometown and you are a social “butterfly”.

In Girl Scouts, they also would have tea parties (I loved the cucumber sandwiches), holiday parties, we once slept over at the church hall, a lot of really fun memories; well, except the campout in the backyard, that was miserable. We got eaten alive by the mosquitos!

In 4th grade, we stopped girl scouts, because mom started working full time, and no one was willing to take over our troop, so it just fell apart. It was kind of sad because it gave me a sense of “normalcy” of a girl’s childhood, but mom always found a new activity for me to keep me entertained.

I sure do miss those days of cookie selling, earning patches, and being competitive; it was those days, I hadn’t realized I was different because I was surrounded by friends who treated me just like everyone else. Girl Scout forever!

Back Braces, Childrens Hospitals, disabilities, disabled, hospitals, Kyphosis, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, Shriners Hospitals, Shriners Hospitals for Children

Scoliosis Journey: Becoming a Shriners Patient, back braces, and possible child abuse?

It was on a trip to New Orleans Children’s Hospital for an orthopedic doctor appointment we were stopped by state police for speeding. Never before in dad’s life has he ever gotten off with just a warning. The officer was a Shriner. He gave his business card to my parents and told them about the wonderful work of the Shrine Club, which is free to families. After a few more visits to New Orleans doctor, they decided to get a 2nd opinion. My parents wanted a 2nd opinion because the private physician kept changing his mind about when surgery should be performed. I was starting to pull up. He bounced back & forth as to waiting until after I started to walk or before. They didn’t feel he was confident about what would be best for me. Mom called the local Shrine club; 2 very nice gentlemen came out the following day with paperwork and took pictures of me. Shortly thereafter I became a Shriners Hospital for Children-Shreveport patient. Shrine doctor decided it would be better before I started walking. Why wait? It had to be done anyway. Mom and I went to Shriner’s Hospital in Shreveport, LA a few days before surgery. Surgery was done at Christus Shumpert. I had to stay on my back in ICU for a few days. My parents had a room in the hospital with the freedom to come into ICU anytime to see me. The 1st night after surgery, I rolled onto my stomach and got up in crawl position just as mom walked into the room to check on me. I was being monitored in the nurse station. My nurse came running into the room to put me on my back; Even back then, I was such a little rascal and terrifying the nurses! LOL. After a brief time in the hospital, I was discharged with a cast around the torso area. The cast had a hole in the stomach area around the belly button. I complained about itching inside the cast. Dad would vacuum inside the cast using the long nozzle.

Shreveport is about a 3-hour drive from my home. I remember those trips to Shriners Dr. appointments so well because they were so memorable. During these trips, we had a tradition of going to the mall down the road afterward for Lunch at Piccadilly and then shopping; I especially loved going near Christmas time or Valentine, because I could get holiday shopping done.

Since it was a 3-hour drive, we often left my house extremely early; sometimes when I was much smaller: I’d pack a bag the night before and my parents would just load me up while I was still asleep in the morning. I was so small, I could slink down out of sight and change in the backseat of the vehicle. We’d often stop at McDonald’s to get breakfast; which mom and I often split the “Big Breakfast” and if there was time, she’d let me play in the playground for a tiny bit. Upon getting to Shriners Hospital, Mom and I would go sign in, and then I’d run off to go play in the waiting area and, of course, make new friends with other children. As I got into the preteen years, I no longer wanted to play with the pretend kitchen set, and would watch the movie they had on or go on the computer to get on Myspace or whatever; sometimes while waiting, I’d go to the cafeteria area and get popcorn or a cookie or a soda.

Once they called me to the back, we’d go straight to “weighing” and then to X-ray. I remember when I’d get weighed, they would often tease/joke with me because I hadn’t gained much in 6 months and they’d jokingly ask “does your mother feed you?!” To which I would laugh and say “yes, I eat like a horse; it just doesn’t stick to these boney hips!” (I also had really bad stomach problems so everything would pretty much go right through me.) In X-ray, I knew the routine of how they wanted me to stand: Back facing them, arms wrapped around something a metal box thing, feet slightly apart. I always got stickers and a stuffed animal/toy if I behaved in X-ray right away, instead of sometimes being mischievous and acting like I didn’t know the routine. After X-ray, it was to go bring my X-rays to the nurse/doctor meeting lounge area and then go sit up front and wait to be called back to be put in a clinic exam room to see my Dr.; Dr. Richard McCall.

Upon getting placed in a room, there wasn’t much to do in the room and sometimes he would take forever, so I’d go in the hallway and peek into the nurse/doctor lounge and giggle, spying on them while they looked at patients’ x rays, playing peek-a-boo: hiding when they’d look my way; Sometimes, I got caught by the nurses/doctors eyesight, but half the time, they’d just play along. I could always tell which X-ray was mine and I would sometimes go right up behind Dr. McCall while he was looking mine over and I’d point out “that’s mine!” and would trace the curve outline with my finger: He was so patient with me and my fascination; he’d sometimes sit me on his computer chair, and show me where the Scoliosis started and his ideas for future surgery “Once you go through puberty, “ yadda yadda yadda, a plan that never went to full fruition during my Shreveport checkups because my body had waited so long to “go through puberty” and the risk of paralyzing me was too great according to him when they discharged me at 17.5 years of age.

I remember one time, I think it was coming back from a checkup appointment, I for some reason stuck my head under mom’s driver seat of our Ford truck; she had to pull over because I got my head stuck. Why was I such an odd child?

I had to wear a body brace due to my Scoliosis. For those who do not know, bracing is sometimes a treatment for Scoliosis patients. I had to wear my brace from 2 years of age, until 8 years of age, when the doctors decided the bracing wasn’t helping; it might’ve been because I’d “pull a Houdini” and escape out of it. I despised that brace: it was hot, itchy, and so uncomfortable; when I’d take it off, I would scratch my itchy body for like 15 minutes straight. The undershirts for the brace, that were supposed to help, didn’t help that much. The only reason I liked my brace was that I had protection if someone hit me in the stomach area and because I had a place to put all my stickers. The worst part of the brace beside the itchy hotness of it was being molded for a new one. Being molded for a new brace was the worst because they use plaster of Paris or something like that to make them, and when they mold your spine, it gets hot and burns: I only remember being molded for a new one, once; I cried and screamed, throwing a tantrum, saying I hated them, until afterward when I got a toy to cheer me up; I named the doll “Cynthia,” because I was obsessed with Rugrats at the time, and it looked like Angelica’s Cynthia doll.

It didn’t do much good for me, so I was able to discontinue the brace after age 8. I had lots of memories of my brace.

There was a “game” I liked to play with my mom. I called it “Suitcase game” where mom would hold me by the straps of my brace and swing me in the air like I was a suitcase. How anyone never called child protective services, I will never know. Another memory was one of my mom’s favorite memories of me in my brace. They had Velcro straps on the back of it and Mom thought it was out of my reach. This memory shows another factor in my determination. We happened to be going somewhere and I was asleep in my car seat. Mom says I sat up in my car seat, eyes still closed. She says I reached behind myself, undid the Velcro straps, then proceeded to stick my arms into the brace, and push it away from my body; Escaping out of it. She says, before that happened, she would not know how I’d escape out of it because I would be put to bed in it, and when she’d come in the next morning to wake me up, I was out of it. Now she knew; somehow she always discovered any of my secret tricks! I eventually always got busted! HAHA!

I didn’t like my brace because when it was very hot outside, I would sweat and it’d start to itch, but other than that it didn’t bug me that much, except after eating because I always had stomach aches after eating. I did however like it whenever my body would get put in dangerous situations: my brace would’ve protect me: When I fell and knocked out my front teeth, I didn’t hurt my back because I was in my brace; When I had a girl that thought I was a baby doll and would carry me around, she dropped me one day, the only thing that got hurt, was my butt because my back was protected by my brace. Even though I hated it as a child if I had it on maybe I wouldn’t be so achy all the time now. I don’t know, just kind of wish I didn’t have the aches I am having now—Old Age Sucks!    

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anxiety, tears, adorable kids, and pizza; My “Today”

Today was not great of a day except for one little event during the middle of the day. I had gotten a ticket from Build-a-bear for the “Pay your age,” event and was able to take my “future nieces” (older one being 9 years old and the baby, 9 months.) However, earlier that day was not great. 

It started by my 9-year-old “future niece,” going to get the mail at my apartment mailbox; I got a letter from St Louis billing department saying that I was “denied,” hardship assistance and didn’t meet the national poverty requirement (how is not having health insurance besides Louisiana Medicaid, and only living on SSI and food stamps, not poverty?) – side note: called and talked to someone and got it straightened out, after I had already had my anxiety panic attack because “I need this surgery but I don’t wanna go into debt and cause my family and friends to go into debt for it.” However, I had to put that anxiety attack away to go enjoy the build-a-bear event with my fiance’, his sister, her husband, and the two children. 

The older sister got a “Siamese looking” cat that she named Melody and their mom picked out an adorable bear and put in a “giggle sound,” that made my 9-month-old “future niece,” smile at; we named the bear Giggles. We probably spent more than we wanted to- because if we’d done just the stuffies with no sounds or accessories, it’d have only been $10, but we got each a sound (Melody had a cat sound and the Giggles had the giggle sound effect) so add in $9 more dollars, and then each got one accessory- the cat got a purse, and I don’t remember what the baby got for hers.) The total was $31 something, so $31-$19= the two accessories costing $12 together so about $5 or $6 each. We covered about $10-15 each. It was worth it. I got to forget my anxiety and play with my “future nieces” especially the cute baby. LOL. I love them both, but adorable babies (when not crying and screaming) seem to make the world go right and make you forget your stress, whereas an older child who may not be able to entertain herself that well, may stress you more.)

After Build-a-bear, we went to eat at Cici’s pizza buffet. It was okay. I watched them feed the baby pieces of brownie and how she made that adorable smile at the taste of the chocolatey goodness, and my 9-year-old “future niece,” wanted me to sit by her. She tells me all the time she loves me, she constantly hugs me and wants my attention. She doesn’t seek that from her uncle; she’s even gone as far as to tell the family, “If DJ and Jamie break up, can we keep Jamie instead?” to which the family always corrects her, “aunty Jamie,” and I’m just thinking “don’t force her to call me something if it doesn’t feel natural to her. she doesn’t call DJ, “Uncle DJ,”  LOL.  

After Cici’s pizza buffet, we departed ways; they were going see a Movie at the theater where my fiance’ brother in law worked at; I think it was only so the 9-year-old wouldn’t beg to stay longer with me and her uncle at the apartment complex, because at the Build-a-bear thing, when we were leaving, she kept saying, “I wish I didn’t have to go home. I wanna stay longer with yall.” Which broke my heart having to be stern and tell her “no,” because she needed to get back and do her Homeschool SchoolWork and plus I didn’t feel that I could entertain her properly: I was still stressing about that letter, in the back of my mind. I told her, we’d try to get her again before I have my surgery in August. 

When I got home, I finally had gotten in touch with someone in billing to discuss the letter about being “denied,” financial assistance. They explained that despite it being out of state Medicaid, they were still going to try to file with them, so currently, my balance showed $0.00. The department explained that if Medicaid denies the claim and if I get another bill, just to call them back and explain how I got another bill, and to reprocess my application for financial assistance. So all that anxiety and worry and my panic attack, were basically for nothing because I am not completely “denied,” just denied if Medicaid accepts the claim. I hate how they word the letters, it makes worry creep in. Mom said it was a lesson I need to learn because if I want a family, I can’t be freaking out like that all the time. She also explained how I am not alone in this “battle,” for my obstacles and stuff with my disabilities, I have family, friends, David, his family, etc. But overall that it is the devil playing with me and doesn’t want me to trust in God my father and savior. I need to tell him, “be gone, Satan. My God, my father, loves me and I am wonderfully made for a purpose. He has led me this far for a reason.” 

I will try to do better to trust in my God and savior, my loving father, my almighty creator. Amen.

Also when I got home, it started raining so of course, my back started hurting, so I took a 3-hour nap on Pain meds. After waking up, my stomach decided to reject the pizza (I am guessing it was the pizza: my abdomen was swollen, I was bloated and cramping so bad that it sent pain into my sides, my sides of my abdomen were sensitive to touch, and the really bad cramps left me short of breath. It is slowly getting relief after Tums and Pepto Bismol and just time.

Sometimes I wish my life was easy, but God never promised an easy life- Thank you, Adam and Eve, for original sin messing everything up; if they wouldn’t have given in to the serpent’s temptations, we’d all be happy and carefree, running around butt- naked in the Garden of Eden and not knowing any pain or difference. No bullying, no stress, no strife. *Sigh* Paradise lost. However, we are not alone, Jesus, God’s only son, had to die on the cross for crimes he didn’t commit. He suffered, why should we be any better than him and not have to suffer? the answer is, we shouldn’t. Anyway, I am rambling now. Goodnight, God Bless, and try to find the silver lining 🙂

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Chocolate Cake for Breakfast and Chronic Pain

Just ate #ChocolateCake for #Breakfast. Now I feel sick. Sugar distracts my #ChronicPain so I can go longer without #PainMeds but its not healthy and I have a risk for #Diabetes since my #Grandmother had it. Hopefully I don’t develop it before I have back surgery to fix my rods and my #ChronicPain.

I am tired of living a life of decisions; pain meds or risking diabetes, Fun and going out or cabin fever and bed but no pain, etc. It isn’t much of a life. Soon, Jamie, Soon!

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The last week-Stomach problems-May 2019

The last week or so, I been having stomach problems. First, my fiance’ niece was over here and any change in routine and my stomach routine goes out of wack (constipation). I was hurting more in my back and hips, lots of belching, bloating, nausea, decreased appetite, and gas; so I thought maybe it was due to constipation, however, once I did get back on my bathroom routine, I still had problems continue.

when I am hungry, I get nauseated, and once I eat, it chills out for a little while, unless I overeat, and then nausea comes back. I still have decreased appetite, craving more sweets, still belching a lot, still got a lot of bloating and gas, and at least my pain in my back and hips has returned to its normal-pain levels.

Yesterday and Today, it was BBQ lunch I had yesterday and then I also had red velvet cake today, so my stomach is really hurting and gurgling 😥

August cannot come fast enough. I think that is a lot of my issues- the broken rods, my Kyphosis getting worse again, putting pressure on my tummy. 😦