Fun last night; Sore today

The wedding for my cousin was so much fun. The ceremony was beautiful. The bride was gorgeous. The celebrant(priest) cracked some jokes and made the audience chuckle. The reception was great with awesome food, great music, a beautiful cake, lots of fun and dancing, a cute cardboard cutout to take photos in, a fun and creative “send off for the bride and groom,” and of course an open bar! All the makings of a great Louisiana Cajun wedding.

For me, even though it wasn’t my wedding, I still had a great night. 1.) I wasn’t hurting for once, 2.) My stomach cooperated which is very unusual for social events, 3.) I got to see my godson and his family, and 4.) I danced and sang almost the entire night! I danced with my younger cousins, older cousins, strangers (to me- they were probably family or friends of the bride or friends of the groom), Mom, and my wonderful fiance’ David danced with me a few times for slow dances and one fast song, “Brown eyed girl,” (which is usually me and mom’s song, but Mom was nowhere to be found when it came on, so I had a substitute. LOL)

However, today, I am paying for all that cutting up and fun, as I am sore to the max! I slept till noon, soaks in the tub didn’t help, had to give in and take my pain meds.
I can’t wait till after surgery when I can have fun and not be so sore the next day. I missed having fun like that!

Our Crazy “Twisted” Rollercoaster Love story=David+Jamie (old written piece)

Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Jamie. Jamie thought she would die alone because she wasn’t normal; she had many medical disabilities and low self-esteem as a result of being bullied most of her life. She ended up dating a guy with spina bifida who made Jamie realize that love was possible, but she thought it would be with someone with disabilities because they were the only ones who understood that majority of the world was against them. However, Jamie had been raised to be independent and the young man with spina bifida relied and blamed everyone else for his problems, so Jamie, for the sake of her sanity, ended it because she was constantly nagging him and trying to change him, which wasn’t good; she didn’t like the person she was becoming.

               Once again, Jamie thought she’d die alone. One day, she decided to muster up courage and see what would happen if she put herself out on the dating sites; and when someone would message “hey beautiful,” she would reply, “are you blind, being sarcastic, or just crazy? I am not beautiful.”

               During one of these encounters, a young man from Simmesport, Louisiana; an hour from where Jamie lived, contacted her. They talked via message on the dating site for a while and then he asked her if they could meet. They met face to face, at La Hacienda and it was a good date, however, Jamie was still hesitant and shy; she would check her rearview after the date to make sure he wasn’t following her.

               On their “second date,” they went to a production at Opelousas Little Theater; Rocky Horror Picture Show. Neither Jamie nor David had seen the movie and didn’t know what to expect from the show…let’s just say it was Interesting, funny, and a little disturbingly awkward (at least for Jamie, not sure what David thought.)

               He took her to meet his family and they instantly fell in love with her; especially his 7 year old Niece, Serenity, which Jamie and David try to include in stuff ocassionally to get her out of the house.

               They continued to hang out and soon a love started to blossom. The young man was named David. David made Jamie laugh and smile, and some of her “quick wit come-backs” had returned; something her mom commented that “Jamie had lost over her years.” He was a great cook and baker, like Jamie. He was motivated, and went to church with her (something TJ did not do) . He was most, if not all, the things Jamie had dreamed of when she dreamt of love, but once she realized she was different than other girls, she gave up that dream. She had always thought “if guys only want dream girls with hot bodies, then I am their nightmare.” David changed that point of view somewhat, although Jamie still questions why he is with her when he could have anyone.


               Now the question of this journey will be whether David can break Jamie’s shell of low confidence and self-esteem, and make her see her “true beauty,” that he sees in her? Only time will tell or he may never break her out of it completely; a year later and she still questions why he is with her, why he loves her, and she is constantly worried that their future will be bleek and david will have regrets later on. What if she can’t give him children? What if she loses her SSI because they get married? what if his paycheck isn’t enough to support them until she can get her degree and make money herself? Worry, worry, worry, sometimes I wish I could turn my mind off! I love David but when that doubt gets into my head, I push him away because I worry I am not good enough for him. I need to stop and realize Love can conquer much, and doubt is death. Maybe One day I will. When I am not worrying and letting it get in the way of our relationship, the relationship is great fun for the most part. David loves to cook together in the kitchen. Sometimes, he will come up behind me and hug me or sometimes tickle me while I am doing something in the kitchen (cooking-wise or doing dishes or laundry- our washer/dryer is in part of the kitchen.) We play fight, I’ll play-punch him, and he will hold me and hug me, or sometimes pick me up and hang me upside down or over his head (I am terrified of heights) but I never “surrender.” I keep “fighting him.” Other times, we enjoy snuggling on the couch to watch movies together, and play “popcorn catch (which I suck at)” but it is a great excuse to start a popcorn fight (throwing popcorn at each other, which Beignet enjoys cause she gets to eat the popcorn when it hits the floor.) After a year we are still learning each other; our views (that sometimes differ which cause some arguments but we end up “agreeing to disagree” whether it be his patience level with his niece, Beignet sleeping in the bed, politics, religion, etc.), what things he enjoys/what things I enjoy, favorite foods, ideas for our future, etc. Our summer vacation in Hot springs was so much fun and I am glad my parents let me bring him along to our condo. It was a great bonding experience, especially when we went to the superhero and star wars museum! That was fun; dressing up in the Jedi robes and playing with the light sabers, hitting each other with them. HAHA! It is so funny how he was able to get me into star-wars, something TJ tried and failed to do. Guess David just had something a little more special, I don’t know.

 One thing that really gets on my nerves though is that I look so young and he looks so much older (even though in truth it is only 6 year gap), people think he is either my dad, my older brother, or worse, a sexual predator; “Aww what a great dad,” “what a sweet older brother,” or “what is that old man doing with that young girl?” It is even worse when my mom is with us, people then think him and my mom are married and I am their daughter. I am tempted to wear a sign or make t-shirts for us that read “I am over 21, he is not my dad nor is he my older brother and he is most definitely not a sexual predator. Mind y’all own business and stay out of mine (maybe add a middle finger for effect Ha ha.)

 All I know is I truly am happy with David ¾, (if not more) of the time with him. I can’t see my life without him.

We got engaged in December on Christmas Eve when he proposed to me at my parents house. 🙂 The wedding date is set for May 23, 2020 unless it has to be pushed back due to medical recovery from my surgery.

Happy Birthday to my Fiance, David-May 2019

It has been 1 year 7 months and 5 days since we got together on October 24,2017. I had just gotten out of a relationship with my ex and you contacted me on that dating site and wanted to meet. It so weird it has only been a year when it feels like longer. We’ve been through thick and thin, fires, turmoils, arguments, my meltdowns, etc. You taught me new things, you brought back some of that old spark I had lost. When our relationship going good, its golden, but when its bad, it’s like two volcanoes in competition of eruptions- gotta love both being stubborn Taurus bulls. LOL

We both love to cook, we both like to laugh, both like theater productions, sure i take some of your jokes the wrong way, and sure I am not into gaming. But you love me despite my disabilities and all; you are supportive, helpful, creative, generous, got a good heart, am I saying you are perfect? No. But neither am I? We are all flawed humans, but we can work together to build each other up and bring out the best in each other.

Happy Birthday, Baby. I love you. ❤

Already a Bridezilla..Planning a wedding 1.5 year away. (January 2019)

I am already turning into a bridezilla. I am stressing over trying to find a venue that doesn’t have a capacity limit of 300 or less people for a decent price, with a kitchen to use, that allows us to self cater and self- booze. 😦 it is really hard.

Then trying to figure out who to eliminate off the guest list when I feel so close to everyone who ever came in my life. My love runs deep, and it feels like cuts of betrayl towards them when i cant invite them to my wedding day. 😦

Then to top it off, I asked my fiance’ 3 days ago if he had an idea for a first dance song..”no”. so I set out on a quest; a quest to find the perfect first dance song. I spent 3 days and resulted in 2.5 pages of potential songs (Sure, a good portion of them were Disney songs; I am a kid at heart, quit judging!).

 Today, I started to play them and 10 seconds into them “no, no,no.” to several of them, and then says he wants “that Bryan Adams Song ‘Everything I do,'” Seriously?! I asked him 3 days ago, I spent 3 days searching! and I loved alot of these songs.

I hate feeling stressed and about to blow up, so I am walking away for now. I will retackle it later after some goodnight sleep.

Plot Twist: I am Engaged! (December 2018)

Ever since I can remember, probably once it really (I mean really) “clicked” in my brain that I was different from everyone else, I always thought I’d never date, less become engaged and eventually marry someone.

I always saw these girls in magazines or my peers who were into makeup and fashion and here I was just struggling to look presentable but still comfy. I always saw the girls with bigger boobs, or nicer ass etc got the guys. That was their “dream girl” or so I thought and I thought if that was their dream, then I must be their “nightmare” cause I didn’t look like that.

As I got older, I kind of just gave up on guys, I had gotten hurt too many times and wasn’t gonna put myself out there to be hurt again;  figured I’d be “flying solo” the rest of my life…then after my surgery, I joined an online dating site at my mom’s suggestion, and met a boy with Spina bifida. He brought out something in me that relit the fire of wanting love, wanting to be loved and accepted, and I figured if anyone understood my struggles, it’d be someone with a disability also. Sadly, however, that story ended after 3 years, the fire dimmed and was barely sparks anymore and I was constantly nagging him. I didn’t want to be a “mom” I Wanted to be a girlfriend.

I put myself back out on the dating sites and got a few “hits” saying “hey beautiful” and my comeback was always ‘you must be blind,” “are you being sarcastic?,” or “you need your eyes or maybe your brain checked out.” because I didn’t see myself as “beautiful.” Then enters this older guy by 6 years or so, the same line of “hey beautiful,” my same remarks of doubt, however, he persists and persists and persists; talking every day, wanted to meet publicly. so we did. we began dating October 24, 2017.

we had fun: productions at Opelousas Little Theatre, eating out, playing bowling on Wii or monopoly on the Xbox, taking his niece places, doing a gingerbread house, putting up Christmas village, oh the list could go on and on!

Sure he pesters me and likes to cuddle more than my ex, and I am not used to it and I push him away, but I do love him and like spending time with him, but I wish he’d understand I need my alone time too.

This Christmas he proposed to me! So now we are fiances’ It is so weird but wonderful at the same time!!