All my life, I would like to say,
I was a “normal” child
Could run and do all the activities like the others,
But that would be a lie.
Sure, I went to P.E., with my fellow peers,
But that was only two days a week.
Rest of the time, I was segregated,
To a “special” Adapted P.E.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the adapted P.E.,
But when you already know you are different than your friends,
You don’t want,
Another sign or “special treatment”,
That proves it.
You long to be “normal,” but no;
Sit on the sidelines, walk the track…
While the other kids run and tackle,
Coaches and teaches,
Fearing you bruising and the possibility of parents suing.
“Can’t do this, Can’t do that, oh be careful! Don’t hurt yourself!”
Why are these warnings only given to me?
Why not Jared, Josh, or Malorie?
Even now, as an adult,
I still let people,
Who I trust, and think know better than I,
Make decisions for my life.
I lie, and say it’s just for advice,
Because if they knew the truth,
They’d just say something along the lines,
“Stay true to you.”
How can I do that?
When All my life,
I have had others,
Telling me what to do,
Never letting me,
Test the waters or learn from mistakes,
Okay, there were mistakes I could still learn,
But really, how can it be, me An Adult?
When I have no strong standing,
Or sense of self.
but, in all honesty,
Who is Jamie?