Dreamers can dream and dream big

I have lots of interests and lots of dreams. One is to operate a successful food truck (yes, I love to cook and bake). Another is to get my youtube channel going and inspire those also dealing with physical differences and show that nothing is impossible. I also am interested in writing and publishing books (one being my life story, others being books of creative writing works and children’s literature). I also would like to write for childrens tv and movies, especially including characters with different special needs, I’ve also been inspired by seeing the new creations of dolls with special needs and the creation of clothes for children with special needs…I’d like to help do more of that- more special needs included in the toys, and more clothes/costumes for those with special needs, and have my own makeup/accessories line/ clothing line, etc.
Dreamers can dream and dream big. 

🙂
But my biggest dream that I’ve always had since I was 3 years old, is to become a mommy 

🙂 and my passion since seems like forever, is to help make the world better and more accepting for those with special need- #Advocate and #CharityWork. Only through God’s will and power. God’s will be done. 

❤ Amen

Rewrite the stars- Greatest Showman song- relates to my relationship with my fiance’

Last night, I was on my pain meds and as usual the drugs made me a sappy, hormonal, emotional wreck; especially when all they do is make me tired and don’t actually help my pain, and as tired as I am, I cannot get comfy enough to actually go to sleep- which causes me to become irritable, frustrated, and emotional. Warning: Below, is how I feel on those kinds of days. You’ve been warned.

Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely love my fiance’ and most of the time I cannot absolutely at all fathom my life without him, but on my really bad pain days when I am cooped up in the house on pain meds and can’t stand my own life, I relate to Zendaya’s lyrics of the song.

He is so positive and confident about us, and I am like that girl (because of my age difference and looking like a kid, and my disability- the “mountains,” and “doors can’t walk through”) and what the world thinks. and just waiting for him to realize that it is hopeless and impossible for us to truly be happy together. I am always thinking “he didn’t sign on for all these issues: Me hurting all the time, me lashing out at him because I am hurting and frustrated; because I’m irritable.. How can I expect him to love me when I don’t even love myself?”

Maybe he’ll teach me a thing or two, or maybe if I have such idle time, pay attention to the negativity.
It’s a lot of self-esteem issues and idle time, pain meds causing depression, being bullied from a very young age (5 years old)- it’s hard to escape the “voices” of my past, but I am working hard on it because I do love him and I know he loves me.

Dreams can change the world Poem

Notebook opened, 

pen in hand, 

paper blank, 

thoughts unplanned. 

Mind, 

a jumbled mess, 

so much to say, 

no idea where to begin!

Mind racing, 

head starting to spin!

Thoughts and ideas, 

bouncing around, 

pinballs in my brain. 

A jumbled mess, hurting my head

I sit there,

staring at the blank slate,

Waiting and waiting, 

for the thoughts and ideas, 

to join together, 

to fit, 

like a solved puzzle. 

Looking back at the notebook, 

*gasp* there are words!

The message finally written,

but will it be heard? 

Fight the fear!

Don’t hold back!

Speak your Mind!

I tell myself,

Let your message be heard,

lead the blind.

The message heard, now,

let it change the world.