peeks into my life dealing with everyday life and obstacles as well as obstacles of dealing with disabilities and accessibility obstacles, Chronic Pain due to broken spinal rods, living on pain medications, dealing with anxiety/depression, experiencing the newness of love, and fighting for my right to live and love my life in an ableist society.
We had nothing left in the fridge and around noon I started to get hungry. I quickly seasoned up some chicken breasts and cut them into bite size pieces, put some oil in the skillet and grilled/sauteed some chicken despite already having planned a meal for supper with chicken- Baked Chicken Parmesan. Oh well. David didn’t complain and both meals came out good. I’ll probably defrost some ground meat to make tacos Tuesday night.
Now, my joints ache and everything hurts, not just from being on my feet cooking, but also we have some rain predicted for later and that affects my body as well. Just another average day in my life.
Being a “Cajun” girl from central Louisiana, I have a passion for cooking, but sadly I cannot do it often because due to Chronic pain, I cannot stay on my feet long or I suffer extreme chronic back pain afterward.
Today, I was tired of using my crockpot or “baking” meals and David has been cooking for the last few months. I remembered I enjoyed chicken in a mango chutney but the recipe I had eaten last time was with stir-fry and I don’t know how to do stir fry (and don’t have a wok anyway,) so I improvised and made it into a gravy. The first thing I did was cut the chicken breast into bite size pieces and seasoned/marinated them in a mixture of Savory, Tony Chachere’s, Cayenne pepper, White pepper, black pepper, Old Bay Seasoning, ground mustard and liquid mustard (Dijon), some squirt of honey, some brown sugar, a tiny little “spill” of cola-soda, and some minced garlic.
Next, I browned the chicken on the stove. While the chicken was browning, I cut up onions and green bell pepper. Once the chicken was browned, I added in onions, green bell pepper, and some roasted red bell pepper that I had in the fridge, and let it all simmer together.
Once the onions and bell pepper was softened in with the browned chicken, I added in the mango chutney and let it all simmer together to form a thick gravy; however, it wasn’t thickening to how I wanted, so I added in a little pinch of flour.
I followed no recipe. I never follow a recipe. When I feel something would be good in a dish, I just follow my gut instincts. It is like I have a “sixth sense” for cooking. I enjoy it and it relaxes me. To me it is an artistic expression, however, I sure could do without the back aching afterward from being on my feet so long. It’s a whole pain pill kind of night, but the meal was so worth it.
Maintenance came out to fix the A/c issue, but the water soaked some of the bedroom carpets and even into the closet on David’s side. The maintenance people had us move stuff out of David’s side of the closet, and are gonna blow-dry the carpet and spray some type of chemical to prevent molding.
I don’t know what God is trying to tell us/teach us, but, I could’ve really done without the moving stuff around workout today when I was already hurting, but oh well, That is life. It isn’t always as we expect/plan.
I hope and pray that they are able to fix it to the point of no molding, and we are able to get our deposit back when we move out of the apartments.
My fiance arrived home from work around 9 p.m. and told me that our carpet entrance to the bedroom was completely saturated. No matter how many times we tried soaking it up with the towel, time passes and it doesn’t dry up, seems like it keeps getting wet. We called the maintenance’s emergency number around 12:20 a.m. And left a message.
It is like completely soaked. Hopefully, we won’t lose our deposit check when we do move out and hopefully, it won’t be too hard of a job if they have to replace the carpet. UGH.
Middle of summer and gonna have to sleep with just the bedroom fan on, No A/C. Gonna sweat our brains out. JOYY! NOT!
Migraines= cravings for salty foods (cucumbers&tomatoes with lots of salt and ranch dressing, Carrots and ranch dressing, popcorn with lots of butter and salt, baked french fries with lots of salt/Tony Chachere seasonings, or some homemade fried chicken..)
Why can I not crave a balanced, healthy diet where I don’t go to extremes on either side. Where I’m eating just fruits and veggies or eating just junk… Why can’t I crave a meal that incorporates all food groups and varies each day? LMAO… My body is Cray-Cray.
I also need to come up with new recipes to cook/have David cook; I am tired of eating the same old things.
Just ate #ChocolateCake for #Breakfast. Now I feel sick. Sugar distracts my #ChronicPain so I can go longer without #PainMeds but its not healthy and I have a risk for #Diabetes since my #Grandmother had it. Hopefully I don’t develop it before I have back surgery to fix my rods and my #ChronicPain.
I am tired of living a life of decisions; pain meds or risking diabetes, Fun and going out or cabin fever and bed but no pain, etc. It isn’t much of a life. Soon, Jamie, Soon!
So a lot of People have no issues with Disney movies or children’s programming promoting heterosexual “need a man/prince,” mentality, but as soon as something airs with homosexual relations, everyone that is crazy traditional religious is all up in arms and “grab your pitchforks and torches, burn the blasphemers.” It’s 2019 people, there should be no more homophobia, transphobia, disability-phobia, dwarf-phobia, racism, sexist ideas, or any of that stuff. The old testament was before Jesus’ time, the new testament was around Jesus teachings but actually written by “followers” of Jesus. Who knows, they could have thrown in their own views or maybe when it was translated from Hebrew or whatever language, something got “lost in translation.” I mean, think about it, Jesus hung out with the sinners, prostitutes, the “scum of the scum,” as people viewed them. He taught love and acceptance. Not trying to change their ways by saying “You’re GOING TO HELL!” he did it through love, he made them want to turn from their sins, not try to force it.
Today there was an article on WAFB Channel 9 about a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Episode that featured the character, Scootaloo, being looked after by her same-sex couple aunts; Aunt Holiday and Aunt Lofty. First, it was Arthur about Mr. Ratburn and a gay wedding, and now this. People were all pissed about both “It isn’t appropriate for children,” “Protect our children,” “Satan’s agenda,” blah blah blah.
I may have been brought up Catholic all my life, and I still love my religion, faith, and God almighty, but the organization has its own faults ..*Cough* *Cough* Pedo Priests getting frisky with the altar boys or whatever. We are all human, we all have faults, we all sin.
But the media are doing things like this to try to be relatable and give representation to minorities and their families: Homosexuals(The child or the parents), bi-racial (parents or child), single-parent households, being raised by someone other than parents (Grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins, adopted, orphaned, fostered, etc.), transsexuals (parents or child), those with disabilities. With more representation and showing that these people aren’t weirdos or “freaks,” and that they are just like everyone else and shouldn’t be targeted, harassed, bullied, etc. over stuff they can’t control.
Since a lot of parents tend to shove their ideas and beliefs down their children’s throats, and not teach their kids to not be little assholes, its up to society to also push in some compassion and empathy because there are many walks of life and no one should be bullied to the point of trauma, depression, homicide, or suicide.
I was able to read my “writing” I did for Mommie on the day I found out she died, today; however, toward the ending, I got choked up, and quickly finished, and ran out the room before the water-works started. I had a huge knot in my stomach all day and could barely eat: I forced myself to eat a little bit though to just not get sick. At the church, Mom wrote and read a beautiful eulogy- I know where I got my writing talent from. It described my Mommie perfectly. It was at the same church and cemetry my Poppee- grandpa is buried.
In happier news, David and I like the church for our wedding in year 2021 (if all goes well with my surgery and recovery). Today was a hard memory in that church, time to add in a happy one 🙂 Plus, this way, Mommee and Poppee’s spirit don’t have to travel too far to be in that church when I walk down that aisle. 🙂 Another funny thing, my aunt Jan grabbed my fiance’ by the collar and basically threatened him, “If you hurt Jamie, you deal with me!” I think he knows if he ever hurts me, he’s gonna have a huge angry mob after him! LMAO.
My grandmother, Ruby “mommie” Cormier died on Sunday, June 9, 2019; one day before her 89th birthday. I took it hard at first because I had been wanting to do a Youtube tag video with her, but I kept hurting a lot and couldn’t get out there to do it with her, and now I can’t do it because she is gone. I was also upset, because I had always planned for her to be present at my future wedding, when I got all my college degrees, to see me start my own career and chase my dreams, and maybe even eventually see me start a family; well now, she won’t be around for any of those events, not physically anyway. I came to realize though, she is in a better place, she is no longer hurting or suffering from dementia or diabetes. She could truly start living a fun life again.
Yesterday, Monday, June 10, 2019, in honor of her birthday, a lot of the family went out to eat at Pizza Village (one place she loved to eat), Mom made a chocolate cake, and we shared lots of memories, laughter, and of course cake. We even sang “Happy Birthday,” and the other patrons of the restaurant probably thought we were a bunch of weirdos. The younger kids, her great-grand kids, wanted to do a balloon release and so we “sent the balloons up to heaven.”
Today, Tuesday, June 11, 2019, the “wake,” at the funeral home was from 4-8 pm. with a rosary at 5 p.m. It really wasn’t that hard on me today; sure, I got a little choked up during the rosary, but other than that, Again, we shared lots of memories and laughter between families and friends. My younger cousin, Hadley, (4 years old) kept “arresting” my dad and putting him in “han-cuffs.” Adorable kids are always a good distraction from the pain of grieving.
Me: Hadley, you arresting uncle ronald? HK: Uh-huh Me: you know thats my dad, right? HK: *Looked worried I was gonna tell her to leave him alone* Me: Good Job, Get him. Give me high-five! she just giggled and gave me “five” (She’s definitely come a long way since Easter two years ago when she would run away from me! lol)
More than likely tomorrow will be the real challenge when they close that casket and we have to leave her. I am gonna try to read what I wrote the other day in dedication to her when she first died…I might get choked up but I will try to do it.
I found an angel pin that I put on her to be buried with, and a picture of me, her, and david from Christmas 2017 when David and I first started dating. Also being buried is a toy cat that supposed to represent “Socks” (her cat she had before she went in the nursing home), and some pictures of her, Hadley, and Hadley’s older brother “Braylon”. Those kids are young, but I hope they know how much their great-grandmother loved them as much as they loved her. <3<3
anyway, good night. Thoughts and prayers with the family for tomorrow is appreciated.
Jamie's Twisted Journey 