peeks into my life dealing with everyday life and obstacles as well as obstacles of dealing with disabilities and accessibility obstacles, Chronic Pain due to broken spinal rods, living on pain medications, dealing with anxiety/depression, experiencing the newness of love, and fighting for my right to live and love my life in an ableist society.
As you all are aware by now, yesterday I went to Vidalia for a pain management appointment and found out that I have Osteoporosis forming. Today, I called my Surgeon in St Louis, Missouri, to find out if it would affect my surgery.
Missouri office: Can they fax it to the results to us?
Me: I’ll call and ask.
Vidalia office: we need a release, however, we can send the results to your referring doctor.
Referring Dr office: Oh, we can’t fax other doctors’ records.
*Facepalms* This is why the medical field and disabilities suck. Can’t get help, what so ever. You are a freaking Dr. Office, do your job!
I called the St Louis office back and explained the situation and they are going to call Vidalia and see if there is something they can do.
So a lot of People have no issues with Disney movies or children’s programming promoting heterosexual “need a man/prince,” mentality, but as soon as something airs with homosexual relations, everyone that is crazy traditional religious is all up in arms and “grab your pitchforks and torches, burn the blasphemers.” It’s 2019 people, there should be no more homophobia, transphobia, disability-phobia, dwarf-phobia, racism, sexist ideas, or any of that stuff. The old testament was before Jesus’ time, the new testament was around Jesus teachings but actually written by “followers” of Jesus. Who knows, they could have thrown in their own views or maybe when it was translated from Hebrew or whatever language, something got “lost in translation.” I mean, think about it, Jesus hung out with the sinners, prostitutes, the “scum of the scum,” as people viewed them. He taught love and acceptance. Not trying to change their ways by saying “You’re GOING TO HELL!” he did it through love, he made them want to turn from their sins, not try to force it.
Today there was an article on WAFB Channel 9 about a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Episode that featured the character, Scootaloo, being looked after by her same-sex couple aunts; Aunt Holiday and Aunt Lofty. First, it was Arthur about Mr. Ratburn and a gay wedding, and now this. People were all pissed about both “It isn’t appropriate for children,” “Protect our children,” “Satan’s agenda,” blah blah blah.
I may have been brought up Catholic all my life, and I still love my religion, faith, and God almighty, but the organization has its own faults ..*Cough* *Cough* Pedo Priests getting frisky with the altar boys or whatever. We are all human, we all have faults, we all sin.
But the media are doing things like this to try to be relatable and give representation to minorities and their families: Homosexuals(The child or the parents), bi-racial (parents or child), single-parent households, being raised by someone other than parents (Grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins, adopted, orphaned, fostered, etc.), transsexuals (parents or child), those with disabilities. With more representation and showing that these people aren’t weirdos or “freaks,” and that they are just like everyone else and shouldn’t be targeted, harassed, bullied, etc. over stuff they can’t control.
Since a lot of parents tend to shove their ideas and beliefs down their children’s throats, and not teach their kids to not be little assholes, its up to society to also push in some compassion and empathy because there are many walks of life and no one should be bullied to the point of trauma, depression, homicide, or suicide.
The last week or so, I been having stomach problems. First, my fiance’ niece was over here and any change in routine and my stomach routine goes out of wack (constipation). I was hurting more in my back and hips, lots of belching, bloating, nausea, decreased appetite, and gas; so I thought maybe it was due to constipation, however, once I did get back on my bathroom routine, I still had problems continue.
when I am hungry, I get nauseated, and once I eat, it chills out for a little while, unless I overeat, and then nausea comes back. I still have decreased appetite, craving more sweets, still belching a lot, still got a lot of bloating and gas, and at least my pain in my back and hips has returned to its normal-pain levels.
Yesterday and Today, it was BBQ lunch I had yesterday and then I also had red velvet cake today, so my stomach is really hurting and gurgling 😥
August cannot come fast enough. I think that is a lot of my issues- the broken rods, my Kyphosis getting worse again, putting pressure on my tummy. 😦
Sometimes I wonder why my fiance stays with me: mean I never wanna cuddle/love on him because I am either hurting or it tickles (I’m really ticklish); I am always on my phone/computer/or tablet(The same things I got annoyed with my ex over- not spending time with me), then I get angry at him for the stupidest shit. Tonight I lost my anger with him over a joke. We had been “play- bickering” before the “joke,” and I guess I was already a little irritable from that and then he was teasing me because I had deflated my helium balloon from my birthday and had sucked the helium and he said “you already act like you don’t have any brain cells. You killed them all.” That is a trigger for me, because I already feel like I don’t measure up because everyone I graduated from high school with has already gotten multiple degrees or have careers and I just have associates under my belt, struggling to get my bachelors, and I struggle very badly with math; So when he said that I lost it. I got so mad, I threw a can at him, I don’t even remember what the can was, maybe it was canned Air that he uses to spray his computer to dust it- I don’t remember, but he got his feelings hurt and lashed out at me for it and I totally deserved it. We made up now, but still I feel so guilty about It. I mean all he does is try to love and have fun with me, and I take things the wrong way. He cooks for me, he helps me when I am hurting, he even started a go fund me for my surgery. He just says stuff without thinking sometimes He’s human and flawed like all of us, but at heart, he is a good person. I do love him, but my anger, anxiety, and depression get the better of me. I will continue to try to do better in the future, David, and I am so sorry. 😦
It has been 1 year 7 months and 5 days since we got together on October 24,2017. I had just gotten out of a relationship with my ex and you contacted me on that dating site and wanted to meet. It so weird it has only been a year when it feels like longer. We’ve been through thick and thin, fires, turmoils, arguments, my meltdowns, etc. You taught me new things, you brought back some of that old spark I had lost. When our relationship going good, its golden, but when its bad, it’s like two volcanoes in competition of eruptions- gotta love both being stubborn Taurus bulls. LOL
We both love to cook, we both like to laugh, both like theater productions, sure i take some of your jokes the wrong way, and sure I am not into gaming. But you love me despite my disabilities and all; you are supportive, helpful, creative, generous, got a good heart, am I saying you are perfect? No. But neither am I? We are all flawed humans, but we can work together to build each other up and bring out the best in each other.
I’m just got off the phone with Dr. Kelly’s office in St. Louis. They offering two surgeries. One to just revise surgeries. And one to take a bone out of my spinal column area and make me straighter. Longer surgery would be Sept. Smaller surgery would be August.. Longer surgery would give better balance. She’s gonna talk to dr Kelly again.hes out of town right now, so it’ll be sometime next week. Smaller surgery , if I’m not balanced enough, rods could break again. But longer surgery is messing near my spinal column and could paralyze me #decisionsDecisions 🤷♀️🤷♀️🙏🙏 I dunno. I mean id like to be straighter and not risk rods breaking again, but also like being able to walk and stuff. And also don’t wanna risk another trache.