my fiance knows how to irk me and push my buttons but I still love him ❤
Medical Headache, incompetence, and idiotic rules
As you all are aware by now, yesterday I went to Vidalia for a pain management appointment and found out that I have Osteoporosis forming. Today, I called my Surgeon in St Louis, Missouri, to find out if it would affect my surgery.
Missouri office: Can they fax it to the results to us?
Me: I’ll call and ask.
Vidalia office: we need a release, however, we can send the results to your referring doctor.
Referring Dr office: Oh, we can’t fax other doctors’ records.
*Facepalms* This is why the medical field and disabilities suck. Can’t get help, what so ever. You are a freaking Dr. Office, do your job!
I called the St Louis office back and explained the situation and they are going to call Vidalia and see if there is something they can do.
so disgusted and embarrassed by this! Boycotting my little pony? its 2019..ugh
So a lot of People have no issues with Disney movies or children’s programming promoting heterosexual “need a man/prince,” mentality, but as soon as something airs with homosexual relations, everyone that is crazy traditional religious is all up in arms and “grab your pitchforks and torches, burn the blasphemers.” It’s 2019 people, there should be no more homophobia, transphobia, disability-phobia, dwarf-phobia, racism, sexist ideas, or any of that stuff. The old testament was before Jesus’ time, the new testament was around Jesus teachings but actually written by “followers” of Jesus. Who knows, they could have thrown in their own views or maybe when it was translated from Hebrew or whatever language, something got “lost in translation.” I mean, think about it, Jesus hung out with the sinners, prostitutes, the “scum of the scum,” as people viewed them. He taught love and acceptance. Not trying to change their ways by saying “You’re GOING TO HELL!” he did it through love, he made them want to turn from their sins, not try to force it.
Today there was an article on WAFB Channel 9 about a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Episode that featured the character, Scootaloo, being looked after by her same-sex couple aunts; Aunt Holiday and Aunt Lofty. First, it was Arthur about Mr. Ratburn and a gay wedding, and now this. People were all pissed about both “It isn’t appropriate for children,” “Protect our children,” “Satan’s agenda,” blah blah blah.
I may have been brought up Catholic all my life, and I still love my religion, faith, and God almighty, but the organization has its own faults ..*Cough* *Cough* Pedo Priests getting frisky with the altar boys or whatever. We are all human, we all have faults, we all sin.
But the media are doing things like this to try to be relatable and give representation to minorities and their families: Homosexuals(The child or the parents), bi-racial (parents or child), single-parent households, being raised by someone other than parents (Grandparents/uncles/aunts/cousins, adopted, orphaned, fostered, etc.), transsexuals (parents or child), those with disabilities. With more representation and showing that these people aren’t weirdos or “freaks,” and that they are just like everyone else and shouldn’t be targeted, harassed, bullied, etc. over stuff they can’t control.
Since a lot of parents tend to shove their ideas and beliefs down their children’s throats, and not teach their kids to not be little assholes, its up to society to also push in some compassion and empathy because there are many walks of life and no one should be bullied to the point of trauma, depression, homicide, or suicide.
Haters can “move along,” (older youtube video)
The last week-Stomach problems-May 2019
The last week or so, I been having stomach problems. First, my fiance’ niece was over here and any change in routine and my stomach routine goes out of wack (constipation). I was hurting more in my back and hips, lots of belching, bloating, nausea, decreased appetite, and gas; so I thought maybe it was due to constipation, however, once I did get back on my bathroom routine, I still had problems continue.
when I am hungry, I get nauseated, and once I eat, it chills out for a little while, unless I overeat, and then nausea comes back. I still have decreased appetite, craving more sweets, still belching a lot, still got a lot of bloating and gas, and at least my pain in my back and hips has returned to its normal-pain levels.
Yesterday and Today, it was BBQ lunch I had yesterday and then I also had red velvet cake today, so my stomach is really hurting and gurgling 😥
August cannot come fast enough. I think that is a lot of my issues- the broken rods, my Kyphosis getting worse again, putting pressure on my tummy. 😦
I’m sorry! an Open letter to my fiance, David- May 2019
Sometimes I wonder why my fiance stays with me: mean I never wanna cuddle/love on him because I am either hurting or it tickles (I’m really ticklish); I am always on my phone/computer/or tablet(The same things I got annoyed with my ex over- not spending time with me), then I get angry at him for the stupidest shit. Tonight I lost my anger with him over a joke.
We had been “play- bickering” before the “joke,” and I guess I was already a little irritable from that and then he was teasing me because I had deflated my helium balloon from my birthday and had sucked the helium and he said “you already act like you don’t have any brain cells. You killed them all.” That is a trigger for me, because I already feel like I don’t measure up because everyone I graduated from high school with has already gotten multiple degrees or have careers and I just have associates under my belt, struggling to get my bachelors, and I struggle very badly with math; So when he said that I lost it. I got so mad, I threw a can at him, I don’t even remember what the can was, maybe it was canned Air that he uses to spray his computer to dust it- I don’t remember, but he got his feelings hurt and lashed out at me for it and I totally deserved it.
We made up now, but still I feel so guilty about It. I mean all he does is try to love and have fun with me, and I take things the wrong way. He cooks for me, he helps me when I am hurting, he even started a go fund me for my surgery. He just says stuff without thinking sometimes He’s human and flawed like all of us, but at heart, he is a good person. I do love him, but my anger, anxiety, low self-confidence, and depression get the better of me. I will continue to try to do better in the future, David, and I am so sorry. 😦
Happy Birthday to my Fiance, David-May 2019
It has been 1 year 7 months and 5 days since we got together on October 24,2017. I had just gotten out of a relationship with my ex and you contacted me on that dating site and wanted to meet. It so weird it has only been a year when it feels like longer. We’ve been through thick and thin, fires, turmoils, arguments, my meltdowns, etc. You taught me new things, you brought back some of that old spark I had lost. When our relationship going good, its golden, but when its bad, it’s like two volcanoes in competition of eruptions- gotta love both being stubborn Taurus bulls. LOL
We both love to cook, we both like to laugh, both like theater productions, sure i take some of your jokes the wrong way, and sure I am not into gaming. But you love me despite my disabilities and all; you are supportive, helpful, creative, generous, got a good heart, am I saying you are perfect? No. But neither am I? We are all flawed humans, but we can work together to build each other up and bring out the best in each other.
Happy Birthday, Baby. I love you. ❤
Latest update in “my twisted journey” called Life- April 2019
I’m just got off the phone with Dr. Kelly’s office in St. Louis. They offering two surgeries. One to just revise surgeries. And one to take a bone out of my spinal column area and make me straighter. Longer surgery would be Sept. Smaller surgery would be August.. Longer surgery would give better balance. She’s gonna talk to dr Kelly again.hes out of town right now, so it’ll be sometime next week. Smaller surgery , if I’m not balanced enough, rods could break again. But longer surgery is messing near my spinal column and could paralyze me #decisionsDecisions 🤷♀️🤷♀️🙏🙏 I dunno. I mean id like to be straighter and not risk rods breaking again, but also like being able to walk and stuff. And also don’t wanna risk another trache.
Who says we don’t live in an ableist society? *warning:Rant!* -April 2019
Who says we don’t live in an Ableist Mindset society? Those people are either in guilt or denial or just too blind to see it. Society considers Ableds the norm. Look around:
1.) PreBirth Screenings: what is one of the first things said after the diagnosis. Usually, options to abort the pregnancy. The ones not in prebirth screenings and are later diagnosed: doctors tell parents to institutionalize, medicate to the point some kids are zombies or some therapies like shock therapy or the like. or what about school- when some with disabilities are segregated off to “special classes” all day away from mainstream “Normal” children, which results in isolation, lack of social skills developing, the “normal” kids aren’t exposed to differences which result in teasing and bullying, we are “labeled” and Limited. We get that diagnosis and suddenly people are like “oh how will she be a functional adult citizen when she older?” “She can’t work” “probably doesn’t have a good mind.”
2.) Media- TV, Movies, Magazines, etc.: how many portray disabilities? And the ones that do, are they portrayed by people with the actual disabilities, usually not, usually they hire someone without the disability and put them in makeup..as great as the movie Wonder was, it was portrayed by an actor without a disability and put into makeup. How many magazines or books feature disabilities? YES There is more than there was back in the olden days, but it’s still a minority compared to others.
3.) Accessibility: Yes, they have elevators, but what’s one thing always said when a fire breaks out.. Don’t use the elevators.. so are the disabled suppose to just sit up in a burning building and wait for help? We need backups- A ramp that goes up or one of those chairs that go along the stairs or something! Look at the Cracks in sidewalks.. some are almost as bad as potholes in the road. Some people in wheelchairs without seatbelts can get “dumped out” due to cracks. Or older buildings that don’t have “accessibility.” It is 2019, you can apply for grants to get the accessibility.
4.) Bullying/encouraging suicide- those with disabilities get on social media and express themselves on Youtube or something like that and get “trolls” and “cyber Bullies” who encourage them to “kill themselves” or “how their families would be better off, ” “how we should have been aborted,” etc. Stuff a lot of us have heard our entire lives. People getting rude to us because we are: Walking slow, not really paying attention and “in their way,” drive slower than other people, struggle to drive the hover-carts in the stores, etc. Whispers behind our backs, teasing to our face, staring at us like we are some sort of “Side-Street Freak Show.”
oh and lets not forget how alot of people can abuse the system, but a disabled person stays honest and they can lose benefits by getting married (which should be a basic human right for anyone), trying to work and be functional to the best of their abilities (can’t have more than $2000 in the bank or you get knocked off and cant have a lot of assets,) just living with my parents, I only got $86 in food stamps. I get more now living in an apartment and having very little money for any fun due to bills and when i am in college- tuition. #AsifLifewasntHardEnoughwithjustDisabilities
So yeah, keep telling yourselves, we don’t live in an ableist society. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
#DisabledsNeedaVoice #WeareHumanToo #FuckSocietysStandards
Another Twisted Turn in “my Tale”-April 2019
So for many of my followers on Facebook, you probably are aware of a wound I have been fighting for over 1.5 years and if you don’t follow me on Facebook, then you aren’t aware of much since I just started really keeping up with my blog.
Anyway a little backstory, May 2017, I awoke one night with my back feeling swollen and hurting. I thought a rod had penetrated my skin and was broken (turns out there were broken rods,) I had an abscess (boil) on my back, which, a day or two later popped, and ever since I been fighting with an open sore wound that comes and goes. For two months, I saw my GP, after a few rounds of antibiotics and it not healing, she referred me to Wound Care.
Wound Care has packed it with mesalt, cauterized it, packed it wound-gel, and even surgery to clean out/take out the “sinus tract.” The wound still comes back. Thankfully, we don’t think the rods have been infected (hopefully they aren’t wrong).
Anyway, It had behaved for over a month or two and I thought for sure it had decided to finally start to heal up. Then tonight, I noticed the area around it felt swollen around it (fluid build up) and was oozing slightly with a tinge of blood too), and that it itched, So I had my fiance’ look at it and sure enough, as usual, the hypergranulate tissue poked through the wound and reopened it. AGAIN! So will call wound care in the morning and try to get in. *SIGH*
#NeverEndingStory #StoryofMyLife #MyBodyHatesMe