colds, flu, Health, illness, medical, News, news media, Panic, Politicians, politics, sickness, Uncategorized, virus, Viruses

my views/opinions on CoronaVirus: STUPID!

The “dreaded” Corona Virus has now reached Louisiana. As of yesterday, there were 33 presumptive positive cases of it. For over a month, it’s been “Corona this, Coronavirus that,” to the point, I want to shoot myself if I hear CoronaVirus one more time. Even worse, now schools are shutting down, events are being canceled, and stores are running out of items- especially water and toilet paper; it is an illness people, not the end of the world- Practice good hygiene and handwashing, stay home if sick, and just sanitize if come in contact with sick people. It is that simple. 

the news media and politics are causing a panic and the sheeple are falling for it. This Coronavirus is just like a really bad virus/cold or flu, yet they stockpiling and shit like its the end of the world, shutting down schools…if you sick, stay home but this is going into borderline craziness. Smh. 

Every time a new sickness comes out..its always panic with politics and news media: Swine flu, Bird flu, West Nile, Mad Cow disease, Ebola, now CoronaVirus. Seriously people just practice good hygiene and if you sick, stay home. Common sense. Don’t be sheeple. Yet, we don’t shut life down for flu or regular viruses and people go in sick all the time and get others sick. It doesn’t make sense. 

disabilities, disabled, Handicaps, Humanity, Kyphosis, Life, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, Uncategorized

Scoliosis Journey: Caution with a disability? No way!!!

As a child with a physical disability/deformity, you would think I would be cautious and careful, right? Wrong. I was always running around, hyper, cutting up, showing off; I didn’t know the risks of my behavior.

In 2nd grade, I had bent down really quick to pick up something off the floor, after a sleepover and instantly I fell to the floor holding my side; I had pulled a muscle. My friend ended up having to go home early and I had to lay with a heating pad on my side for the rest of the day and the next day (I think).

After that incident, you think I would’ve slowed down and been more cautious, right? Wrong again. I was still running around, hyper, cutting up; being a typical child. Mom and I were in the neighborhood one time, I was riding my scooter; we decided to race and when I went to put my foot back on my scooter after pushing it really fast, my shoe lace loop (the loops you tie) got caught on the knob part of my scooter that adjusts its height, and I fell over, scraping my knees; I couldn’t even walk.

Still, did I learn? Nope. There were times I fell just by walking on a handicap ramp after rain in new sneakers because they didn’t have “traction” yet and ended up with a giant bruise on my tailbone, burnt bottom of my foot by walking barefoot in the backyard and stepped on dad’s cigarette butt, splinters in my foot, ants in my pants from sitting in grass near a pile, I been there and probably done it all, but the worst one was in 9th grade when I broke my collar bone. How did I do that, you may ask? Well, let me just begin by saying “Never wear skates in the car.”

I had gone to a skating rink birthday party, and afterwards, I was still in “Skating mode,” where I still wanted to skate, but the rink was closing for the day; Mom let me wear my skates out to the car, so that when I got home, I could skate on the driveway.  When we pulled up in the garage, I went to get out of the car and lost my footing; I grabbed the handle to “catch myself,” and felt a sharp *POP* I instantly let go and fell on my butt on the ground. I screamed and cried because it hurt so bad; I couldn’t even get up on my own to take my skates off. Dad and my brother had to come out and help me; one of them took off and saved my skates while the other took me in and put me in my bed. After going to

the orthopedic dr., I found out I had broken my collar bone; I had to wear this strap thing that looked like a bra for your spine, for like the rest of the school year (March-May); at least, I got out of P.E. (not that I needed an excuse, once I got passed Jr. High, they never really pushed me to participate.)

Yes, with a disability, you want to do everything that other people do, you want to fit in, you want to be “normal,” but you also need to stop and think about the risks, weigh the pros and cons, before you do anything. I’m not saying, live your life in fear of doing activities, all I’m saying is slow down and think, do what I didn’t. Learn from my mistakes.

disabilities, disabled, Girl Scout cookies, Girl Scouts, Handicaps, Humanity, Kyphosis, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, society, Uncategorized

Former Girl Scout: Top Cookie Seller

The Girl Scouts of America promotes character, outdoor activities, good citizenship, and service to others. As a child, I was a girl scout; and one of the top cookie sellers, thank you very much. HAHA! I joined girl scouts when I was in kindergarten. A few weeks into the year, our troop was about to get broken up, because our troop leader was moving or something, so they called a meeting and asked for volunteers to be leader; desperate to keep my friends and me together, I picked my mom’s arm up, and she got stuck being leader. Sorry, Mom for that! I enjoyed girl scouts, it was a fun way to keep up with my friends: we did crafts, went on outings, etc. Since mom was the leader I thought I’d get away with a lot; but, boy was I wrong! If I tried to pull a stunt, like not do an activity, etc., she’d pull me aside and fuss me/correct me. I’m not complaining, I wish she’d have done that more to help me face fears, instead of just doing activities I didn’t want to do due to laziness.

I loved it when it was cookie-selling time; I have always been very competitive and since I don’t have the physical ability to do sports, I do it with stuff like this, or games at the fair/games at Gatti-Land, and now the casino. When it was cookie-selling time, Mom would take the sheet to work, I’d go in the neighborhood, ask family, etc., just like I’d do for school fundraisers; I was very driven to get those prizes! It sure helps when you know almost ¾ of your hometown and you are a social “butterfly”.

In Girl Scouts, they also would have tea parties (I loved the cucumber sandwiches), holiday parties, we once slept over at the church hall, a lot of really fun memories; well, except the campout in the backyard, that was miserable. We got eaten alive by the mosquitos!

In 4th grade, we stopped girl scouts, because mom started working full time, and no one was willing to take over our troop, so it just fell apart. It was kind of sad because it gave me a sense of “normalcy” of a girl’s childhood, but mom always found a new activity for me to keep me entertained.

I sure do miss those days of cookie selling, earning patches, and being competitive; it was those days, I hadn’t realized I was different because I was surrounded by friends who treated me just like everyone else. Girl Scout forever!

Back Braces, Childrens Hospitals, disabilities, disabled, hospitals, Kyphosis, medical, Physical Disabilities, Scoliosis, Shriners Hospitals, Shriners Hospitals for Children

Scoliosis Journey: Becoming a Shriners Patient, back braces, and possible child abuse?

It was on a trip to New Orleans Children’s Hospital for an orthopedic doctor appointment we were stopped by state police for speeding. Never before in dad’s life has he ever gotten off with just a warning. The officer was a Shriner. He gave his business card to my parents and told them about the wonderful work of the Shrine Club, which is free to families. After a few more visits to New Orleans doctor, they decided to get a 2nd opinion. My parents wanted a 2nd opinion because the private physician kept changing his mind about when surgery should be performed. I was starting to pull up. He bounced back & forth as to waiting until after I started to walk or before. They didn’t feel he was confident about what would be best for me. Mom called the local Shrine club; 2 very nice gentlemen came out the following day with paperwork and took pictures of me. Shortly thereafter I became a Shriners Hospital for Children-Shreveport patient. Shrine doctor decided it would be better before I started walking. Why wait? It had to be done anyway. Mom and I went to Shriner’s Hospital in Shreveport, LA a few days before surgery. Surgery was done at Christus Shumpert. I had to stay on my back in ICU for a few days. My parents had a room in the hospital with the freedom to come into ICU anytime to see me. The 1st night after surgery, I rolled onto my stomach and got up in crawl position just as mom walked into the room to check on me. I was being monitored in the nurse station. My nurse came running into the room to put me on my back; Even back then, I was such a little rascal and terrifying the nurses! LOL. After a brief time in the hospital, I was discharged with a cast around the torso area. The cast had a hole in the stomach area around the belly button. I complained about itching inside the cast. Dad would vacuum inside the cast using the long nozzle.

Shreveport is about a 3-hour drive from my home. I remember those trips to Shriners Dr. appointments so well because they were so memorable. During these trips, we had a tradition of going to the mall down the road afterward for Lunch at Piccadilly and then shopping; I especially loved going near Christmas time or Valentine, because I could get holiday shopping done.

Since it was a 3-hour drive, we often left my house extremely early; sometimes when I was much smaller: I’d pack a bag the night before and my parents would just load me up while I was still asleep in the morning. I was so small, I could slink down out of sight and change in the backseat of the vehicle. We’d often stop at McDonald’s to get breakfast; which mom and I often split the “Big Breakfast” and if there was time, she’d let me play in the playground for a tiny bit. Upon getting to Shriners Hospital, Mom and I would go sign in, and then I’d run off to go play in the waiting area and, of course, make new friends with other children. As I got into the preteen years, I no longer wanted to play with the pretend kitchen set, and would watch the movie they had on or go on the computer to get on Myspace or whatever; sometimes while waiting, I’d go to the cafeteria area and get popcorn or a cookie or a soda.

Once they called me to the back, we’d go straight to “weighing” and then to X-ray. I remember when I’d get weighed, they would often tease/joke with me because I hadn’t gained much in 6 months and they’d jokingly ask “does your mother feed you?!” To which I would laugh and say “yes, I eat like a horse; it just doesn’t stick to these boney hips!” (I also had really bad stomach problems so everything would pretty much go right through me.) In X-ray, I knew the routine of how they wanted me to stand: Back facing them, arms wrapped around something a metal box thing, feet slightly apart. I always got stickers and a stuffed animal/toy if I behaved in X-ray right away, instead of sometimes being mischievous and acting like I didn’t know the routine. After X-ray, it was to go bring my X-rays to the nurse/doctor meeting lounge area and then go sit up front and wait to be called back to be put in a clinic exam room to see my Dr.; Dr. Richard McCall.

Upon getting placed in a room, there wasn’t much to do in the room and sometimes he would take forever, so I’d go in the hallway and peek into the nurse/doctor lounge and giggle, spying on them while they looked at patients’ x rays, playing peek-a-boo: hiding when they’d look my way; Sometimes, I got caught by the nurses/doctors eyesight, but half the time, they’d just play along. I could always tell which X-ray was mine and I would sometimes go right up behind Dr. McCall while he was looking mine over and I’d point out “that’s mine!” and would trace the curve outline with my finger: He was so patient with me and my fascination; he’d sometimes sit me on his computer chair, and show me where the Scoliosis started and his ideas for future surgery “Once you go through puberty, “ yadda yadda yadda, a plan that never went to full fruition during my Shreveport checkups because my body had waited so long to “go through puberty” and the risk of paralyzing me was too great according to him when they discharged me at 17.5 years of age.

I remember one time, I think it was coming back from a checkup appointment, I for some reason stuck my head under mom’s driver seat of our Ford truck; she had to pull over because I got my head stuck. Why was I such an odd child?

I had to wear a body brace due to my Scoliosis. For those who do not know, bracing is sometimes a treatment for Scoliosis patients. I had to wear my brace from 2 years of age, until 8 years of age, when the doctors decided the bracing wasn’t helping; it might’ve been because I’d “pull a Houdini” and escape out of it. I despised that brace: it was hot, itchy, and so uncomfortable; when I’d take it off, I would scratch my itchy body for like 15 minutes straight. The undershirts for the brace, that were supposed to help, didn’t help that much. The only reason I liked my brace was that I had protection if someone hit me in the stomach area and because I had a place to put all my stickers. The worst part of the brace beside the itchy hotness of it was being molded for a new one. Being molded for a new brace was the worst because they use plaster of Paris or something like that to make them, and when they mold your spine, it gets hot and burns: I only remember being molded for a new one, once; I cried and screamed, throwing a tantrum, saying I hated them, until afterward when I got a toy to cheer me up; I named the doll “Cynthia,” because I was obsessed with Rugrats at the time, and it looked like Angelica’s Cynthia doll.

It didn’t do much good for me, so I was able to discontinue the brace after age 8. I had lots of memories of my brace.

There was a “game” I liked to play with my mom. I called it “Suitcase game” where mom would hold me by the straps of my brace and swing me in the air like I was a suitcase. How anyone never called child protective services, I will never know. Another memory was one of my mom’s favorite memories of me in my brace. They had Velcro straps on the back of it and Mom thought it was out of my reach. This memory shows another factor in my determination. We happened to be going somewhere and I was asleep in my car seat. Mom says I sat up in my car seat, eyes still closed. She says I reached behind myself, undid the Velcro straps, then proceeded to stick my arms into the brace, and push it away from my body; Escaping out of it. She says, before that happened, she would not know how I’d escape out of it because I would be put to bed in it, and when she’d come in the next morning to wake me up, I was out of it. Now she knew; somehow she always discovered any of my secret tricks! I eventually always got busted! HAHA!

I didn’t like my brace because when it was very hot outside, I would sweat and it’d start to itch, but other than that it didn’t bug me that much, except after eating because I always had stomach aches after eating. I did however like it whenever my body would get put in dangerous situations: my brace would’ve protect me: When I fell and knocked out my front teeth, I didn’t hurt my back because I was in my brace; When I had a girl that thought I was a baby doll and would carry me around, she dropped me one day, the only thing that got hurt, was my butt because my back was protected by my brace. Even though I hated it as a child if I had it on maybe I wouldn’t be so achy all the time now. I don’t know, just kind of wish I didn’t have the aches I am having now—Old Age Sucks!    

art, comics, fantasy, Fiction, heroes, Kyphosis, medical, Scoliosis, superheros

2015 Art: Scoliosis Girl– Hero to All!

Meet scoliosis girl. She’s a super hero who happens to have scoliosis, but she doesn’t let it stop her from fighting against bullying and discriminations. She rights the wrong! She kicks butt and takes names. Lol.

(And no, this isn’t my alter ego, although we do share similarities lol)

No photo description available.

I may get back into art and make more disabled and special needs characters. May even compile stories for them and make a comic book or something. Just have to sit down and brainstorm and actually do it. #Representation 

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another sleepless night; chronic pain and tears.

A bad storm passed through Louisiana this week so it has been quite a bit of sleepless nights for me lately and then add in the dreaded once a month bullshit us females have to deal with, adding in stress, anxiety, hormones, emotional roller coaster, all that (sarcastic tone) “fun.” Tonight, I tossed and turned for 2 hours while my fiance’ just lays next to me snoring; sure, I could wake him up and make him suffer with me, but that is selfish plus he works to provide for us, so I guess he needs the sleep more than I do, but it sure would be nice to be able to talk these things out instead of blogging them.

I have a mattress that can elevate the head, it helps with migraines and sometimes my upper back (then I gotta deal with my lower back and hips hurting), but tonight my upper back is hurting and I am not even gonna use the head-elevation because lately it has been making my fiance’ back hurt in the morning; which sent me down the dreaded “rabbit hole” of the uncertainty of a future together: What if I become bed-ridden, what if he has to help me with everything more than he does now? That isn’t what he signed on for! It isn’t fair to him. I know he made a commitment to me and he constantly reminds me of it anytime I start crying and freaking out about how much pain I am in and the fears that sends into me about how uncertain my life and future are; I just don’t want him to have regrets or resentments. I love him, I really do, but when these fears kick in, I go into flight mode and tend to push him away, thinking I am saving him from being stuck in a sucky future with me and my damn disability. How can I expect him to accept it and what it does to me, if I cant even accept it completely myself?

If there was a pill created to make me “normal,” like everyone else in society, I would take it! Even though I also feel like having my disability has made me a well-rounded, wise, empathetic, compassionate, supportive, loyal, passionate person. Does it make me a bad person? Why is it I can be a support system and cheerleader for others with disabilities but yet I cant even accept myself completely? Does it make me a hypocrite? Maybe its just the pain talking; well the pain and the damn devil. I need to really work on myself and loving myself for me; whole-y and completely. Maybe after my surgery to fix my rods, maybe my pain will be better, and I can start being happy again. One can only hope.

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Living in the past…just me?

I can’t be the only person that tends to dwell on the past, can I? okay, maybe not the only disabled person, but maybe I am? I don’t know. I just know, I tend to stay in the past and try to recapture those memories and try to implement them now in the current present; however, it doesn’t always work out.

Childhood was so much simpler; No responsibilities, friendships were easier to make and maintain, I wasn’t in as much pain, my anxiety/OCD/depression wasn’t bad until middle school/High School, I didn’t try to fit in as much, I had a pretty good idea of who Jamie Elizabeth Cormier really was, and of course People I cared about weren’t dying left and right. I had a wonderful childhood and lots of wonderful memories despite having my disabilities; sure, there was the occasional person that mistook me for a “monster” or would just stare/point (the bullying really didn’t start until 4th grade). However, like all children, I took it for granted and couldn’t “wait to grow up so that I could do what I wanted.” Boy, who sold me that fairy tale and can I sue them?

Sure, as an adult, I can do some things I want like staying up all night, going out when I want(as long as I am not in college, not working, don’t have previous plans, have the money to do it, and of course, not hurting.) I can drive (again, as long as I am not hurting and I do have the gas money.) I can drink legally(not a big drinker), buy cigarettes (but I don’t smoke), buy a lotto ticket/scratch-off ticket or go to the casino (if I can afford such luxuries at the time.) But, in the same token as an adult, I also have bills (my choice for moving out with my fiance’), I have to make some tough decisions, I have college courses (my choice) or have to work. I have to handle my own medical stuff (paperwork, phone calls, etc). its a lot of responsibilities that causes my anxiety to go into overload and I end up having emotional meltdowns at least once a week.

However, there is always a silver lining: if I stayed in the past, I wouldn’t have learned important life lessons (through mistakes, my experiences with bullying, fights with friends, failing classes,etc.) I wouldn’t have my friends that I made as I got older (junior high, High School, College, my medical “journey” (st Louis, Missouri.) I wouldn’t have my fiance’ and wouldn’t be planning for a wedding. I wouldn’t have my associates degree in general studies and pursuing my bachelors and then further on to try to better advocate for myself and others with disabilities and special needs- teaching young adults with them to better live independently to the best of their abilities through life skills, modifications, adaptations, job skills, and helping them find jobs they are passionate about instead of just the jobs like Goodwill or Arc. That is my dream and with the right amount of willpower and determination, support from family/friends/and community, any dream can become a reality.

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Need Revision Surgery #MyGoFundMe #JamiesSurgery #BrokenRods- March 2019

My go-fund me account. Please share around if you cannot donate. Thanks ❤ https://www.gofundme.com/jamie-has-broken-rods-and-other-problems-occurring?fbclid=IwAR1eoT8HJHiIHSc6bX9Ej31bO0mhl5TIETaFEvpw8iXrHhme23ZlKcbbdWk

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Update- March 2019

I legit have the best mom, hands down. She gave up some of the time she could be doing stuff for Heather’s baby shower to calm my anxieties and took me to wound care. Good news, it’s not an infection, it’s just a little red and that is “common when healing,” and I just need to “try to keep it covered as much as possible to keep infections out.”
She then asked if I had anything to eat at my apartment, which I did, but I told her “yes, but I am so tired of leftovers.”

Her: “Well, what are you hungry for? Sonic? Burger King? McDonald’s? Taco Bell?”
Me: “Taco Bell”
Her (continues listing, which was a mistake): Chick Fil A
Me: Oh my goodness, yes! My weakness! Chick Fil A!
Her: oh my! What about your stomach?
me: I am hurting in my back which means I don’t give a flying flip about my stomach’s issues. when I hurt, I eat junk. its my comfort.

her: Okay.
(so yes, she got me Chick Fil A nugget meal).

Then we went to Target, she needed some things for Heather’s baby shower, but didn’t find anything of what she wanted.
Her: Need anything before we leave?

Me: Well, I’d like some snacks so I am not stuck eating creamy peanut butter out of the jar till my food stamps come in.

Her: Like what?
Me: Just some popcorn, a thing of chips, some real coke cola and not the no-name brand cheapo one me and David been getting at Fred’s, some fruit roll ups, and some type of cookies.

Her: okay. I’ll get that for you.

So I legit have the best Mom in the world! and a great Dad who works hard to pay for it 😛 ❤ #Blessed

anyway, I am home now, and going try to rest despite my back aching.

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Can’t sleep so I am going to ramble- March 2019

After staying up till midnight, then going to bed only to toss for two hours uncomfortably, I came back into the living room while my fiance’ slept. Normally, he’d still be up as well, doing his best to help get me comfortable(sometimes its out of either of our control),  but he has to work the rest of the week with a new job he just started so I put on a “brave face” and hid my pain from him.
My wound that I have been dealing for almost 2 years feels a tad swollen and it itches around it. It looks really red in the pictures I take myself, but again I don’t want to say anything to him because knowing him, he will ditch the job to take me to ER or wound care center.
I am also hiding it and not saying anything to Mom, because she is busy with planning a baby shower for her niece Heather. doesn’t have time to worry about little old me and my wound. I know that I need to get it seen about and it could be dangerous, but at the same time, I hate being a burden. 😦 it’d be so much simpler if I wasn’t disabled and didn’t have this stupid wound. I am conflicted and hiding something that could end up being very serious.
I know that once they read this (if they read this,) I will get some sort of lecture, but this is my feelings sometimes; that I am a burden. If it wouldn’t be for my friends and family, I’d probably have “offed” myself years ago during middle school or high school. There are times when doubt creeps in.

1.) With my fiance’:  will never have a normal life–they may not have kids, they may be stuck taking care of me the rest of their life, I won’t be able to cater to them like a wife should, etc etc. Why does he love me? Why is he here? He could be with anyone? Why does he want some virgin girl with barely any boobs and a little butt, and short as all heck with disabilities out the wazoo?

2.) My parents: I feel like sometimes I am a disappointment(more with my dad). I don’t know what dreams they had for me (some parents have their kids futures all planned out). I am pretty sure if they had a plan for my future, it wouldn’t have included all these disabilities, dr appointments, and “curve balls of life.”

3.) I am really immature still. I am almost 28 and still love dress up, cartoons/kids shows and movies, the Children’s Museum, riding 4wheelers and go-karts and golf-carts, I love animals and dressing them up in clothes/costumes, I still think about my dolls and my barbies. I can still get “in touch with my inner kid,” easily and my dad “rags me” about it a lot. I don’t watch the news at all- I see enough of it on social media and it depresses me (My fiance’ says I need to “get with reality”- No thanks, if reality is watching the news, then I rather live in my little fantasy bubble. I already know things are messed up and crazy in the world. 😦 #ITrustInGod to fix things. My mom seems to get me the best. She doesn’t mind me being immature. Sure there are times when we see things differently, but she doesn’t rag me on stuff I can’t help; like my “immaturity.” Come to think of it, once I reached age 10, was when Dad started trying to get me to “grow up a little” and Mom always defended me saying “let her be a kid as long as she likes.” (I am sure that’s not her feelings now, but she knows I “adult up” and take care of what needs to get completed.) #BestMomAward

4.) Life has beaten me up and I lost a lot of the fun-loving and creative person I use to be. I am more introverted, self-conscious, anxious in public, feel like I wanna hide when I get stares, or when people are rude/discriminatory towards me or someone disabled, I am ready to throw down and fight. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like my old self. I feel like I need to get back to the essence of who I really am. I need that spark and zest for life, back although it is kinda hard when you living on pain meds and sometimes even that doesn’t help. Maybe once I get these broken rods taken care of, maybe my pain will diminish and I can get some of that joy for life back. One can only hope.